In a Year's Time

Since our referral it feels like my life has been going 90 miles an hour. So much to do.... Add to that the myriad of emotions and thoughts flying through my head right now, and what you get is an overwhelming absence of blogging. I rarely find myself at a loss for words (obviously), but in the last 2 weeks I find myself so overwhelmed that it's hard to put into words the way that I'm feeling.

I have fallen madly in love with 2 little boys who I've never even met but am desperate to bring home. I worried that it might be harder to attach to an older child. Perhaps it would be if we didn't have all of the information that Gladney has provided. The information that we have received about the boys is amazing. I am already learning about their personalities, their likes and dislikes, and daily routine. In my heart, these are my boys.

The week before Thanksgiving (ironically, the week we received our referral) was a very emotional week for me because it is really where this adoption first grew roots.

This is us one year before our referral...

Yep, that's DisneyWorld. Who knew that Disney would be the starting block of our adoption? It was while on that trip last year that I knew for sure that our family was not yet complete. It was there that I realized that I wanted more children, and that adoption was going to be our path. It was right after that trip that I started investigating and brought it up to Mike... all in one year's time.

I am amazed on the journey that this last year has taken us. We still have a long way to go, and this stage of waiting to get a court date and pass is really hard. However, the excitement of beginning our journey as a family of 6 is incredible. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with 3 boys, but I do know that I can't wait.

Fast forward to next year... I hope and pray that we will be one happy (and sometimes crazy) great big family. Here's to hope!

How It All Went Down

Well, here's the story of November 18, 2009.

Since I worked last weekend, I had this day off. It started like most others. Mike went to work, and I take the kids to school. Unfortunately, I forgot that Braeden had a delayed start. So my trip to the gym was delayed, and Braeden got to watch a movie. I nearly missed the bus because I was watching the movies on Sara's blog when her son came home. So I had to take Braeden out to the bus with teary eyes and a very curious bus driver. It appeared that it was going to be one of those days.

I promised Alyssa to take her to her horseback riding lesson, so the babysitter came at 2 to watch Braeden. Just enough time for me to run to Starbucks, grab a coffee, and set up some appointments (international vaccination clinic, doctor for Mike, Christmas dinner).

2:23 PM. I had just set up my laptop at Starbuck's when my phone rang.... that 817- number. Nah, not yet. Must be a question.

"Hello?"
"Hi, Maribeth, this is Sara from Gladney."
"Oh, Hi, Sara. What's up?" (I know, who talks like this).
"Well, I'm calling because I have your referral".
(Dead space) Me thinking... uh, oh, now what? How am I going to make this work? I can't possibly wait until tomorrow or I'll erode my stomach ulcer.
"Uh, sorry, can I call you right back? I need to call Mike and see if we can do this right away, and I'll drive up to his work."

Now, the not-so-awesome part of this is that Mike has his final exam at 5:15. Not really sure that he's going to be able to focus on his exam, but... well, I just couldn't wait. I have to go home and drop off Alyssa's riding helmet and boots and beg the babysitter to take her (thank goodness, the babysitter is awesome!). I think that that was probably the longest drive of my life. In my head are questions of what we will be referred... will it be a boy? a girl? siblings? how many? how old?

When I finally got to Mike's office, I had enough sense to grab a handful of Kleenex and, with shaking hands, walk into his office. There we called Sara back and got our first looks at these most beautiful boys. We reviewed their history and information, and I fell in love. It still seems a bit surreal and overwhelming. They are healthy, happy, and just incredible. I am amazed at all of the information we have about the boys... their personalities, their likes, their dislikes. I feel like I already know them.

I did have to wait until Mike got home from his final (he did, miraculously manage to get through it) to tell Alyssa. What a joy that was! She squealed in delight. It was such a joy to watch her dance around the house, declaring all the things that she would teach her brothers and do with her brothers. She has since told everyone that she can about her new brothers. She has written them letters and drawn pictures for them. She truly can't wait to finally see them.

Surprisingly, I didn't cry at all during that phone call (stunning, since I cry at anything). It wasn't until my drive home that the waterworks of joy started. I have been quite emotional since that phone call.

As we look back over the past 6 months, I think this is exactly what we planned for. I remember the day we were placed on the wait list. I went for a run that afternoon, and I very distinctly remember wondering about our referral. In my mind's eye, I remember seeing two little boys, about 2 and 4 with short curly hair and thinking that was our family. Over the months, as we've climbed the list closer to being referred a single infant (most likely boy), my thoughts have gone that way. Mike, however, has remained convinced that we would be matched with 2 children. Funny how these things work out!

Thanks to everyone who has stopped by with congratulations! Thanks especially to those who have offered to take packages to the boys. We are excited to start sending a little bit of love their way!

It's A......

Boy!

And A


Boy!

Words cannot begin to express our excitement today. Yesterday we received our referral for two extraordinarily handsome little boys! They are 2 and 4 years old, and I am already in love with them. Having spent most of last night learning about them, I think they will fit right in with our crazy family. The oldest already loves soccer, so I think he will do just fine with our soccer devoted lifestyle.

Last night we celebrated...

We Danced...

We Ate (special treats for the kids)...

We Drank (extra special treats for Mom and Dad)...

We Laughed...

We Cried (OK, I did)...

I got to put the kids in their special PJ's. I bought these with the hope that we would get our referral while it was still the right season for these... Braeden will get to be a big (but smaller) brother.


This is when we took Alyssa in to show the pictures and tell her the good news. I think this says it all.


I will try to get in the "how it all went down" story either tonight or tomorrow.

Top Ten Wednesday???

Top Ten Things to do on a Wednesday Afternoon

10. Go to Starbucks and enjoy a vanilla latte (now with a new and improved higher price tag).

9. Enjoy the latest Patricia Cornwell novel.

8. Finish the last 2 loads of laundry.

7. Organize the Thanksgiving Day menu.

6. Try to figure out when you can see that new "Twilight" movie.

5. Check and see who got kicked off "Dancing With the Stars" last night.

4. Stalk R's blog until you see that they passed court (congratulations!)

3. Wonder and obsess when you will get "the call".

2. Research cars to see which one will fit all of the kids and the dog.

1. Get THE CALL from Sara at Gladney with your referral!

Yes, it happened!! We are ecstatic and overjoyed and overwhelmed and feel blessed beyond measure! Details tomorrow.... tonight we celebrate!

Top 10 Tuesday

I have spent the last 10 years of my life devoting my career to taking care of people in the emergency room. Rest assured, it is not at all like "ER". While there are moments of adrenaline filled action, much of my time is spent taking care of rather routine conditions and dealing with psychosocial issues.

As we come into winter months, the volume in the Emergency Department will begin to pick up. For those of you who are new parents, there is a good chance that you will darken the door of an Emergency Room at some point in the next 18 years. This is my "insider's list" of ways to survive an ER visit and get as much out of your visit as possible.


Top Ten Ways to Survive a Visit to the Emergency Room

10. Keep Visitors to a Minimum.
I've never understood why people feel like they all need to come to see their friend, neighbor, cousin in the ER. And why would anyone bring a newborn to see Grandma who has pneumonia? Let's think about this, folks. The ER is for SICK people.

9. Call Your Doctor First.
This is one simple way to avoid an ER visit altogether. Many doctors will be able to give you advice or get you into the office within 48 hours, saving you that hefty co-pay.

8. Use an Ambulance for a True Emergency Only.
It is amazing the number of people who use 911 as a transportation service. A toothache or a sprained ankle does not generally mandate an ambulance. A little common sense goes a long way.

7. Bring Things to Do.
Your ER stay will be much longer than you like. Unless it is a very minor problem, it is very rare to get in and out of the ER in less than an hour. If it's abdominal pain, plan on 3-4 hours. Bring a book, a magazine, a newspaper and you will make your life much easier.

6. Bring a List of all of your Medical Problems and Medicines.
I do not know the name of "that little red pill".

5. Use Cell Phone Etiquette.
Many hospitals now allow you to use your cell phone, but courtesy has not gone out of style. When your doctor or nurse walks in, hang up. And please do not text when I am trying to talk to you.

4. Do Not Make Assumptions based on Gender; Men can be Nurses, and Women can be Doctors.
Just because I am female does not mean that I am the nurse. I wear my white coat and introduce myself as doctor because that is my job. It is very frustrating when I go through obtaining all the information and doing the exam just to have the patient call the respiratory therapist their doctor because he is male.

3. Ask Questions.
Please don't be afraid to ask questions. Most doctors don't mind questions because we generally want to help you understand. I encourage my patients to write their questions on a paper so that they can ask me all of their questions when I come back. However, remember to be respectful when asking questions and ask them all at one time. I generally do not have time to come back 3 different times to answer "one more question".

2. Accept the Answer.
When someone comes to us, they generally want our professional opinion. However, on occasion people want something that is not reasonable or are convinced that there is something wrong despite evidence that there is not. If I say "No" to antibiotics or to pain pills, please don't spend the next 15 minutes arguing with me.

1. Treat your Nurse Well.
Your nurse can make or break your experience. This is one thing I constantly try to teach my students and residents. I am amazed at the number of people who are abusive to their nurses and are angelic with me. The nurse is the conduit to the doctor. If they are on your side, you will do well. Treat them poorly, and your experience will not be good.

May you never need these words of wisdom, but if you do... perhaps the next ER visit will go a little bit more smoothly.

Adoption Update

What's going on with the adoption? When will you have your child(ren)? Have you heard anything yet?

These are questions that I'm frequently asked, so I want to take just a minute to give an update on what's happening and what will likely happen over the next several months. For my fellow adoptive parents, I know this is old news for you, but for those of you outside the world of adoption, I hope this will give some answers to all the questions (asked and unasked).

We have now been waiting for just over 6 months. The last I heard, current wait times were still listed as 8 months... sometimes more, sometimes less. So, hopefully we will hear at some point in the next couple of months. We have slowly but surely been climbing up the unofficial list of waiting families, and we are in now in the top 10 waiting.

The day that we receive that ever-so anticipated phone call, we are give our "referral". At that time, we are introduced to our child(ren). We are given any known personal or medical history as well as photos. Bummer... we cannot post those pictures, so the mystery remains. Once we choose to accept our referral, we then wait for our court date.

At the time of our court date, I will surely develop an ulcer as we wait to hear if we passed. If we pass, we will then travel to Ethiopia to meet our child(ren). If we don't pass, we will wait for another court date.

We still do not know if we will have one child or siblings, nor do we know age or gender. I love the mystery! I did not find out about Alyssa or Braeden until they were born, and there is something so sweet to me about the anticipation of finding out. My guess is that it will be one child as we are very close to the top of the list of families waiting for a single child. Mike is still holding out hope for siblings. However, that is well beyond our control... again, I love the mystery!

When we do hear some news, we will be sure to let everyone know ASAP. Until then, we wait... some days patiently, some days anxiously. One thing I do know... the time is coming soon!

Until then.... We Wait!

Six Months

Six Months down.... ??? to go. I really feel like the time on the waiting list has just flown by. Granted, we have been extraordinarily busy. Between work and myriads of activities for the kids there are weeks that I feel like I can't keep up with life. I'm grateful for those weeks because otherwise I think I might go insane obsessing about the wait (don't worry... I still have days where I have time to obsess). I must confess, though, I think the next bit of time will go by much more slowly. Why? Because I know we're so close to seeing our child for the first time. The holidays are coming, so I'm hoping that busyness will keep me grounded.

I had that moment today for the first time that I've read about so many others having. I was in the middle of cooking, and my phone started ringing. Normally, I'd just let it go and call them back. Not today. I put my cooking down (risking some very burned and unpleasant food) and ran to my phone. Drat! Just my husband! If I get this anxious every time my cell phone rings for the next 2 months, the time will certainly pass slowly.


As I have every month for the last 6 months, I have my book review for the month. This one is a hard one for me because I didn't like this book at all. Now, don't get me wrong. This book was definitely the most beneficial to me of all the books on adoption that I've read. I also think that this is a "must read" for any parents who choose to adopt a child of a different race. However, it certainly took me on a roller coaster of emotions.

The author recounts his own story of being a black child adopted by white parents in the late 60's. The writing is absolutely beautiful and at times gut wrenching. It is a clear reminder that even when you do your best as an adoptive parent, sometimes your best isn't exactly what a child needs. It's easy to think that your love and your own acceptance of your child's race will be enough. However, as adoptive parents we are also responsible to ensure that our child(ren) have a healthy sense of their race and culture. At times this seems easy as teaching them my own beliefs about race seems very natural. However, at times it seems daunting as I recognize that not all of the world around us shares my views.

This book is written to adoptive families, and it successfully makes you question your own biases, beliefs, and child rearing philosophy. All adoptive parents should read this book.

Top Ten Tuesday

The days of fall are fast coming to an end. With the time change, it's dark before I even start to get dinner ready. If the cars aren't in the garage, they are often coated with a layer of frost by morning. It's only a matter of time before we will see those first flakes of snow drifting down. The stores are already in full Christmas mode, and Alyssa is begging me to put up our Christmas decorations. It often feels like fall is such a short season here. Over the years, though, we've developed a few family traditions to celebrate the changing of the seasons.

My Top 10 Fall Activities

10. The Corn Maze Admittedly, Mike is not a fan of this activity because we spend more time running in circles getting lost than actually getting to the end. I love the idea of getting lost in a great big huge corn field.

9. Ready the House for Winter The garage must be cleaned out of the myriads of toys to make room for the cars. The down blankets come out of the closet. The fireplace is checked and cleaned. Winter is coming.

8. Baking Pumpkin Seeds I remember my mom doing this with us when I was a kid, and I will occasionally do this with Alyssa as well. Although I am convinced that there is more eating of the salt than the seeds themselves.

7. Afternoon Walks As we know, the time for comfortable outdoor walks is coming to an end. I love to lace up my sneakers, put on a light jacket, and head out with Mike or Alyssa to enjoy a nice walk.

6. Homemade Apple Pie There is nothing like making your own apple pie from apples picked up at the farmer's market. Now, I don't do this very often as no one other than the dog and I will eat my pie, but oh.... is it good.

5. Picking out Pumpkins Now this can be quite an ordeal as Alyssa must have the perfect pumpkin. We like to pick out a handful of pumpkins in a variety of sizes. They are great to carve or as decorations for the porch as well.

4. Trick or Treat I have so much fun picking out costumes and putting them together with the kids. It's such a joy to watch them combing the neighborhood, practicing their good manners, and having a great time.

3. Watching the Leaves Change Color I find the beauty of the changing leaves absolutely incredible. Whether it's on a long walk, a bike ride, or a drive in the car, it's beautiful to see the change of the seasons in the foliage around us.

2. Carving Pumpkins I don't know why this is such an enjoyable activity other than it's one that we've shared for years. It's fun creating our funny pumpkins. I'm not the most artistically gifted, but I try my best.

1. The "Haunted" Hayride It's not really all that haunted, but it does go through the woods, into the mud and down some steep hills. We always have a good time at this.

Happy Autumn, my friends. Winter is just around the corner.

Braeden's Sleep (less) Study

Saturday night, I was lucky enough to be Braeden's designated parent to spend the night at the hospital with him. It was time for his sleep study. Much like most children with Down Syndrome, Braeden has very small air passages. His tonsils are so huge I sometimes wonder how there is any room to get air back there. His ENT has been recommending it for a while, and I finally agreed to give it a shot.

This was a make-up session since we had to cancel his first appointment since he was sick. Poor guy had no idea what was coming. Braeden has a strong aversion to anything touching him above the neck. Like most most small children, he doesn't like the hospital wrist/ankle band or monitors on his hands or feet, but he really hates anything on his head. He won't wear a hat, sunglasses, headphones, or anything that touches his head or face. Needless to say, getting all the probes on him was quite a challenge. He ended up with arm boards to keep him from pulling everything out.

BEFORE

AFTER

Finally, we got everything on and got him to sleep. However, getting any sleep for mommy was not going to happen. I knew I would be sleeping on one of the hard, vinyl chair-couches. I did not expect that they would come into his room at least twice an hour to readjust his leads and probes. Ugghh!!! I'm not a heavy sleeper, so I woke up for every visit. And more often than not, I had to get out of my chair-bed to help. Nothing like waking up in a weird place to some weird person playing with those annoying probes on your head!

Well, we survived. Mommy is a bit sleep-deprived and cranky, but Braeden is as good as ever. Now we wait another 2 weeks to hear the results. And if they even recommend repeating the study, I will certainly scream!

Happy (Belated) Halloween

So, I'm a bit late on our Happy Halloween post. What can I say... we were just having too much fun. We've been so busy this fall that we really didn't have as much time as I'd like for fun fall activities, but we did make it over to the pumpkin patch (among some very rotted pumpkins) to pick out some pumpkins to carve and get in our annual family hayride. Braeden even stayed awake this year (I think he was too terrified to go to sleep)

We started strong...

but Braeden was a bit scared before long.

We finally found some time to carve our pumpkin... one of Alyssa's favorite traditions. Fortunately she's old enough now to scoop out the nasty inside, and I'm just in charge of the actual carving.
And, finally, the big day itself... Halloween. Alyssa was a leopard (pink, of course). Braeden was a monkey (although a mostly headless monkey as he wouldn't keep the headpiece on). I was a witch (appropriate???). Mike was a very thin Ziggy Schmidt, scarf and all (that one is for all of my fellow soccer lovers).

Now you see why he wouldn't keep the headpiece on... no eyes!

I just love the padded bum on this costume.

Top 10 Tuesday

Ever had that moment where you thought, "I wish I would have bought stock in ________"? We've all thought that about Microsoft and Mac, but around here, I tend to think about other things.

Top Ten Things I Wish I would have bought Stock In

10. Nintendo DS I am not a big gamer, but this was a godsend on our trip to Italy. I have observed grown men playing their daughters' pink DS.

9. Facebook OK. The whole world really is doing this, and I am clearly the last to join. I am a bit dumbfounded on how many people really are out there.

8. Verizon Wireless My family alone is keeping Verizon in business. We break phones like no one else. I broke my phone last week when I dropped it on the ground (for the 50th time).

7. Pedialyte Winter stomach illness is on its way, and we will begin recommending pedialyte to everyone. But, have you ever tasted it? Yuck!

6. Hand Sanitizer In light of the H1N1 panic, sanitizer is everywhere. In my work, we've always been obsessed with it, but now you can find it anywhere and everywhere.

5. Target I'm a bit addicted. I go to Target at least twice a week, and it is my favorite destination for retail therapy as a method of stress reduction.

4. Tamiflu This is the "treatment" for the flu. With the panic of the H1N1 outbreak, this is a luxury hard to find. People are demanding it, and I've even watched some people trying to stockpile it "just in case".

3. Children's Motrin I think we've gone through 3 bottles of motrin at our house in the last 2 months. This may be a long winter.

2. The H1N1 Vaccine We finally have it here, but it's a bit too late for many of our families. People are arriving at designated vaccination centers by the hundreds.

1. Huggies Diapers I think I may be using diapers for the next millenium. I realized the other day that with a brief hiatus of 3 months, we have been using diapers for the last 7+ years. With a new one on the way and Braeden nowhere near potty trained, I'm going for at least another 2 or 3 years!

What about you? Any others?

Top Ten Tuesday

I will close out National Down Syndrome Month with one more moment to celebrate the life that we have thanks to my son. Earlier this month I did a Top Ten on the things I've learned from my son, and I feel like my learning is non-stop with him.

My initial response to Braeden's diagnosis was absolute devastation and despair. 4 1/2 years later, it looks a lot more like acceptance and joy in all the things we do have with him. It's so easy to have a negative outlook on children with disabilities; it's not what most of us would want. I still hear "I'm so sorry for you" or "Life dealt you a bad hand". In truth, though, life with Braeden is always interesting, usually fun, and most of the time I wouldn't trade it (don't worry... that goes for both kids. We've threatened to sell Alyssa on Ebay). So, no pity or sob stories; I choose to celebrate the greatness of life with Down Syndrome.


Top Ten Best Things about Down Syndrome

10. People with Down Syndrome are Sincere
One of my friends recently told me this, and I couldn't agree more. The joy is sincere, the anger is sincere, the sadness is sincere. There are no pretences or attempts to deceive; what you see is what you get.

9. There is plenty of time to watch and relish in each milestone
With most kids, everything happens so quickly in the first year. With children with Down Syndrome, things take so much longer, so you get to enjoy each and every step along the way.

8. Automatic Admission into "The Club"
As parents of children with Down Syndrome, we recognize that each of our children is different, and our paths in life are equally different. But there are some very strong similarities. We all remember the first weeks and months after receiving the diagnosis, and we share many similar battles and struggles. There are even key questions... "How is your child's health?" "Does he have any heart problems?". It's the insider's questions that welcome you into the club.

7. Fun Party Tricks
Braeden has low tone and is hypermobile, so he can squeeze into odd positions. He often sleeps folded in half. Seriously... it's amazing what he can do.

6. I've met the Most Amazing People
I never dreamed I would meet some of the awesome people I've met along this journey. I've seen strength of character that puts me to shame. I've seen a mother's love for a child that would amaze the greatest cynic.

5. The Effect on Siblings
I remember crying over all the losses Alyssa would suffer and how unfair it would be to expect her to take care of her brother. However, I am amazed at how having a sibling with a disability really brings out amazing things in their brothers and sisters. She has learned compassion and acceptance, and I have no doubt she would defend her brother with everything in her. While my friends deal with siblings who fight and argue, I have to keep them away from each other while in the time out chair because they won't stop comforting each other.

4. The Joy in Accomplishments is so much Sweeter
Braeden didn't walk until he was 2 1/2 years old. The ecstatic joy that we all felt when he took those first steps was so much greater because of how hard he had to work to get there.

3. I've learned more about Myself
Now that's a biggie. I've learned how much stronger I am than I thought I was. I've learned how to let go of some of my competitiveness, and I've learned to let go of dreams in exchange for others.

2. I've learned what's Really Important
Judge me if you like, but my whole life has been about achievement and being the best. I've pushed myself to ridiculous lengths in my quest to be the best, and I've shed tears over failures. Braeden will not be the class valedictorian, and he won't be the keeper for the Varsity soccer team. I will not receive a star for being the best mother on the planet. But, at the end of the day, that doesn't matter; perhaps that is the greatest thing I've learned.

1. Nothing Compares to the Love from My Son
Braeden has some weird sixth sense of knowing when someone is having a bad day. He is the first to give you the most amazing hug when all you want to do is cry. When Alyssa is upset and crying, he is the first to go sit on her lap and hug her. When it's all going to Hell, that little boy can turn it all upside down.

The End of the Season

Well, another soccer season has come and gone, and this one really was a fun one. Alyssa was lucky enough to play on a good team this season, and she had a terrific coach who focused on the fundamentals so she made some great strides in her passing game. Ironically, I had to encourage her to just take the ball to the goal and shoot because she was working so hard on passing to everyone else. Most of all, though, she really had a lot of fun. It's so easy as a parent to see potential in your child and then push them so hard that they don't enjoy it any more. I frequently have to remind myself to step back and just let her have fun and enjoy.

Unfortunately, their last game yesterday was a loss (only their 2nd this season), and after the game we had a sad and crying Alyssa. I wish I could blame that emotion on Mike, but anyone that knows me knows that trait comes right from me. (Losing has never been my strength). However, with some hugs and encouragement Alyssa was right back to herself.

She has been invited to play on an indoor team, so now we will transition from cold, windy days to the stinky, smelly gym. Bring it on!!!

H1N1 Woes

For those of you in parts of the countries not yet affected by the infamous H1N1, count your blessings. We have been hit very hard here in the Midwest. While the flu is not all that particularly dangerous in the vast majority of cases, the bad press has caused shear panic in many folks. The Emergency Rooms have been inundated with complaints of fever, body aches, and cough. Wait times are through the roof and staff are run into the ground. As one of the many folks on the front line.... I am exhausted. Consequently, my blog and my brand new facebook (so much for honeymoon, addicted stage) have suffered.

But I am back. We have been affected in my house for the last 2 1/2 weeks. It started with Braeden, then Alyssa, and then Mike... wer're holding out hope that I can pull through this season. Was it H1N1? Probably, but as we don't test... I guess we don't know for sure. Mike is coming back slowly, but surely, and hopefully life will start to return to normal. I wish I could share all of my funny stories about the flu season, but, alas, privacy rules prevail and the world wide web will be deprived of all of my awesome stories. But, please, don't panic... many lost days of work and school... and some seriously cranky kids.... however, this too will pass.

Words of wisdom.... consider getting your flu shot. Oh... and invest in some good hand sanitizer. This is looking to be a long flu season.

Unsolicited Advice

Those of you who are already parents know this, and those of you who are soon to be parents will know this very soon... everyone has an opinion on how you should raise your children. It's bad enough that your mother, mother-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, cousin, and best friend tell you the best things for your children. But when random strangers in the grocery store feel a compulsion to guide you in your child-rearing... that's just too much. "Your child is too old for a pacifier" "A pacifier might keep your child from crying" "You really should have a hat on your child" "I think your child is hungry" Yep, heard 'um all.

However, I am here to give a bit of unsolicited advice for all parents. Be sure to take time away together... without kids. It's amazing how life gets so tied up around children that sometimes you lose touch with that person that you married. When Mike and I got married we agreed that we would take one vacation a year with no children. Every year, without fail, we've done it. We've gone to Jamaica, the Bahamas, Paris, Wine Country (CA), Florence, and St. Thomas on these trips, and I can't think of a better way to keep your marriage alive. This year we scaled back a little and took a long weekend to Chicago. Despite the rain and cold, it was wonderful. It was so nice to be able to spend time together, talk about something other than kids, and relax. We also got to meet up with another Gladney family and had a great time getting to know them. It's good to know that we still enjoy being together!

Having fun at Fado's watching the US qualify for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa in their 3-2 win over Honduras. GO USA!!

5 Months

5 Months already! or 5 Months and still waiting! I guess it's all a matter of perspective. Miraculously, it does feel like the time is flying and we are slowly but surely working our way there. Yeah, we probably have another few months, but at least things are moving! So, in these 5 months we've..... lost 2 teeth, gone on 2 vacations, watched countless games of soccer, read over 20 books, finished and started a new school year, outgrown a clothes size (the kids, not me... thank God), gotten rid of training wheels, made several new friends in the blogging world, won 2 battles with our local school district, celebrated 2 birthdays, and cleaned out the spare room in preparation for our new arrival. Whew! Now, you can see why the time flies.

We are coming right into our busiest season at work, and thanks to H1N1 it is starting early and looks to be one of the worst winters in years for us. I'm guessing I'm going to be so busy and stressed out from work that my time to worry about the wait is going to be kept under control. Who knew?


My book for this month was one that I picked up from the library on a whim. I was browsing through the shelves when I came across it. "Dust From Our Eyes" is a book about social justice, public policy, and history in Africa. Absolutely fascinating and eye opening is probably the best description of this book. I will acknowledge that this book is not for everyone. It could easily find itself in the required reading for a college course, so certainly not a light easy read. If you want something that will challenge how you view Africa, this will do it.

The author challenges the prevailing idea that we need to modernize Africa and try to "fix it". Instead she suggests that we recognize the inherent beauty of the continent and the spirit of its people. She criticizes the approach of the West that has decimated so many African countries and plundered its natural resources. She suggests that we provide the necessary support to nations throughout Africa, and she suggests that we start with debt forgiveness. This idea has been supported quite vocally by U2's Bono and his organization "One". This is certainly an idea that I can get behind.

Top Ten Tuesday

Top 10 Things I've Learned from Having a Child with Down Syndrome

10. It takes true courage to learn to do what others say you will never be able to do.

9. We need to learn to focus on the "can do" not the "can't do"'.

8. Sometimes you have to fight for what your child needs.

7. A smile and a hug can make almost anything better.

6. We truly can handle more than we think we can.

5. As parents, we must allow our children to define for themselves who they will be and what they can do.

4. Success is so much sweeter when you have to work hard for it.

3. Sometimes, life isn't fair.

2. What may initially seem like something aweful may just turn out to be something wonderful.

1. Life isn't about winning or being the best.

As we celebrate National Down Syndrome Month, I celebrate the life and achievements of my son. Things certainly don't come easily for him, but with an incredible sense of determination we've seen him accomplish so much. Life with Down Syndrome is not always fun and easy, but it has added more to my life than I could ever have dreamed or imagined.

Taking the Plunge

Well, I've done it... become an official Facebooker, that is. Despite the mega-hype of Facebook, I am still a blogger at heart. Perhaps it's because I have so much to say that I need endless paragraphs... who knows?

Seriously, though, they need some etiquette directions. Is it OK to post on everybody's walls, or are you really just supposed to send a message? When responding to someone, do you comment on their post or make it Wall to Wall? I'm afraid I'm committing all kids of Facebook mistakes here. For those of us who are a little less tech-savvy I think a tutorial might be in order.

With that said, those of you whose last names I know... prepare to be asked to be my friend. If you want to be my friend... let me know and I'll get you my info. Oh, what an exciting technologically challenging world this is.

Top Ten Tuesday

As I've entered into this wild and crazy world of international adoption, I have learned so much. My knowledge of political and social issues throughout Africa has certainly increased dramatically, as has my passion for these issues. I feel like in the last 9 months (how long we've been immersed in this process) I have developed new perspective, new knowledge, and a whole new vocabulary. I use words comfortably that I didn't even know a year ago. Here is my Ethiopian adoption vocabulary primer.

Top 10 New Words in My Vocabulary

10. Blog

Short for weblog, it is my favorite way to keep up with my fellow adoptive families.
9. Injera

A highly versatile food, it is like a yummy sourdough pancake.

8. Extreme Poverty

True poverty, which has devastated both Africa and many other developing countries. This is something we all need to learn more about and discover what we can do to eradicate it.

7. Paperchase

The first part of the adoption process which involves a sometimes laborious process of collecting all vital data and documents needed for the adoption process.

6. Addis Ababa

The capital of Ethiopia, it is the location of the Gladney Foster Care Center as well as the U.S. Embassy.

5. Amharic

The primary language spoken in Ethiopia. While there are a variety of different dialects and tribal languages spoken in Ethiopia, this is the most common.

4. Homestudy

Despite my initial fears that it would be an evaluation of the cleanliness and state of my house, it is really the process of meeting with a social worker to assess the readiness to welcome in an adopted child into the family.

3. F.B.I.

The Forensic Blogging Initiative. It is the unofficial listing of the families in various stages of the adoption process with our agency. It is also my favorite place to stalk/hang out.

2. Dossier

The formal collection of all documents and homestudy that is sent to Ethiopia for review by the courts to determine the placement of a child into our family.

1. Referral
The day we all anxiously wait for, a referral is when you find out about the child who has been selected for you. This is the day that the phone rings, and you get to see the pictures of your child for the first time. I can't wait!

Buddy Walk 2009

This weekend was Buddy Walk 2009. Buddy Walk is held in cities across the U.S. throughout the months of September and October. It is a walk to raise awareness and support for families and individuals with Down Syndrome. October is National Down Syndrome Awareness Month, so I will be taking a little extra time this month to talk and share about Down Syndrome.

This was our 5th Buddy Walk, and I want to thank our families who loyally came out in the rain to support Braeden. Fortunately, the rain held off for the walk itself, but it was definitely soggy. I think all the kids were mud-covered by the end of the day after playing around on the playground.

Man of the Day

Braeden and cousin Alexa

Sweet Cousins