Let me start by saying that mothers of boys should receive a special place in heaven. Boys are a whole new and very confusing world for me. I have a friend who has 5 boys and another who has 4 boys, and I don't know how they do it. Ask any parent who has 2 or more boys, and they can give you a dissertation on the difference between boys and girls. I never really got it before; now, I do.I really believe that some women are made to mother boys. I, on the other hand, was intended to have girls and children with Down Syndrome.
The world of boys has been a complete culture shock for me. I just don't get them. Why on earth they feel that they must constantly wrestle and chase one another, I just don't know. They can create anything into a weapon. I can't even begin to count the number of toys that have been placed into time-out because they have been used to attack another sibling. If you do not have boys, you may not realize that a stadium horn is a perfect sword, and a granola bar serves a very useful second function as a gun.From the second that they awaken until the moment that sweet, blissful sleep overtakes them, they do not stop. It is action, action, action and noise, noise, noise. Of course this is magnified by the fact that I have 3 boys that are all within 2 1/2 years of each other, and one of them is definitely on the super-hyperactive side of the boy spectrum. If you love the noise and busyness of children, let me strongly suggest boys. If, however, you are like me and prefer to sit in a quiet room and read a book, perhaps you should consider girls.
Ironically, the whole boy thing has been one of the biggest challenges for me. I've struggled with figuring out what is bad behavior and what is normal boy behavior. I really wish that I had spent some time observing typical boys before we unleashed the boy chaos at our home.
Fortunately, Mike gets it. He loves the boy stuff, which does give us a little balance. What I'm learning with the boys is to just relax and let it go. No amount of yelling or disciplining is going to keep them quiet, but it will certainly make me crazy. There is a lot of "choosing your battle" with boys of this age. Perhaps if you start a boy from birth, you can mold them a bit more. But at 2 and 5, mine have already had years of these behaviors. It is now a matter of converting their energy from aggressive to healthy activity.Now, don't get me wrong. Boys are not all bad, they are just more exhausting than girls. Rumor has it that the girl drama will take over the boy chaos, but I'll have to wait and see on that one.
Here are a few new phrases that are now heard at our house:"Just because you can pee there doesn't mean that you should."
"Gross! Mom! The toilet seat is wet!"
"Get off your brother."
"No pinching, hitting, kicking, or biting."
"Put the seat down."
"Everybody on a different couch for 5 minutes."
"This toy is now in time-out for the rest of the day."
"Stop climbing on top of each other."
"This is not a gun/sword."
"No more running in the kitchen."
"Do not jump off of that."
"Yeah... you're just going to have to go back to time out again."
6 comments:
Hahaha I agree that girl drama will definitely over step any chaos boys will give you in their early years. Lol from experience I am telling you at least that was how I was haha.
I am praying one day I end up with majority boys than girls for that very reason :)
Oh, yes. For all those psychologists in the 70's who tried to tell us all that there was no difference in boys and girls... BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! What were they thinking???
as a mom of 3 boys...no, they never stop wrestling, they always play with themselves at the most inappropriate times, they compare their junk with one another, they teach nice children how to do armpit farts, their feet smell all of the time and they instinctly know how to play pokemon and the makes of cars. There, that is my experiece thus far.
Well...3 boys and 1 girl, I have to say, I'm a boy's mom. I have decided it must be a ratio of 3 boys to every 1 girl to make things even. Boys know nothing of playing mind games. Girls, come already wired and ready to do so. What boys are looking at is exactly what boys are thinking about. No pretense. I do agree the whole fighting/hitting/ etc is annoying. But the whole manipulation thing gets on my nerves too. Good luck. I dare say had your boys been with since birth, you'd have similar experiences. I do whole heartedly believe the genders are wired differently.
Jan
Loved this post.
I wasn't used to boys before I had them either, and can very clearly remember when my oldest was just over three. He had been such a quiet toddler, but all of a sudden was jumping on furniture, bouncing off walls...I spent about a week saying "find something quiet to do, go read a book, would you just sit down!" before it dawned on me. HE'S A BOY! It was my biggest parenting "aha" moment and totally changed the way I viewed his behavior!
I'm sure I don't know what I would do with boys, especially boys with my own genetic material. My girl- she sounds like she might be a match for your boys. While she does run around in pink tu-tus- she is just that- running around, jumping, lunging, wrestling with her sister, loud, very loud, impossible to get to sit still....I can only imagine! I too struggle with what is "normal" child behavior and what is bad behavior. I grew up being expected to be well mannered and quiet- and I hear my mothers voice everytime we're out to dinner and I start to feel frustrated that no one wants to sit quietly and eat their noodles. Hugs! You are a hero!
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