M.C. United

Shopping with a difference

2011-12-16T11:53:00.006-05:00

I have wanted to post for quite some time about the myriad of fundraisers out there. There are a whole lot of families in the process of adopting, and this is not a cheap process. Many of them have come up with creative ways to earn some money towards their adoptions.

As we come so close to Christmas, I wonder how many of us have those "impossible to buy for" people. This year, I was able to give some gifts that give to more than just one. Reece's Rainbow sells Angel Tree Dollars, where people can pick a child who gets their donation. They also have super cute calendars (free download). I've also purchased several gifts from adopting families.

This is one of my favorites, and I hope you'll go visit their blog to check it out.

This family is adopting Caleb from China.

Oh, my goodness, isn't he sweet?

Juli makes all kinds of homemade crafts. I bought a lanyard and several key fobs (sorry, I think I depleted her stock), and they are awesome! They were a big hit with my family. She still has several items left, and perhaps you are looking for something. Just be warned, I am buying some more, so you'd better hurry! Here is just a small sampling:

Please head over to Adding Branches to see her whole selection. She is amazing.

Jewelery Bags (several different designs... I love these and will be getting Alyssa and myself one for our next vacation.) $20

Lanyards (I have the one on the far right, and I love it... great for work or for the kids) $10

Pacifier holders (would have loved this when Alyssa was little, might have saved a lot of "10 second rules") $5

Table Runners (double sided) $20

Ornaments (super cute, I'll be getting some of these too) $5

So, head over HERE to check out more options. You'll be glad you did. Nothing quite like feeling good about the things that you buy.

Over the Top!

2011-12-14T13:10:00.001-05:00

Well, the girls did it! They earned $172.75 at their bake sale yesterday. Alyssa had 5 friends who helped her out with baking and selling, and what a great time they all had. They were all so excited to earn money for Jesse. And, it's official... Jesse has met (and exceeded) his $1,000 angel tree goal. I'm so glad to be a part of this.

Way to go, Girls! You've made us proud!

Jesse... the boy who inspired these 9 and 10 year old girls to look beyond themselves this holiday season. Go visit www.reecesrainbow.org/angeltree2011 to learn more.

Alyssa's Heart

2011-12-13T09:55:00.003-05:00

As parents, we are constantly trying to instill in our children a sense of compassion and love for others. Our family is especially unique in that our children have been inundated with that from the very beginning. This holiday season Alyssa showed what an amazing little girl she is. We are involved with an organization called Reeces Rainbow which helps promote adoption of children with disabilities from around the world. She decided that she wanted to raise money for a little guy in Russia named Jesse with Down Syndrome who is waiting to find a family. She started by doing chores around the house and then decided to do a bake sale at her school to help raise money for Jesse.

This is the video that she and Mike made to show at school.

Baking Queen

She made chocolate chip cookies, brownies, cupcakes, buckeyes, chocolate sprinkled pretzels, and oreo balls. She also recruited several of her friends to help out. Oh, she makes her mama proud. The bake sale is this afternoon, so I'll be sure to post more pictures as well as how much she raised.

What we've been up to

2011-12-05T11:55:00.001-05:00

Yes, we are still alive and well. It turns out that having 4 kids and a full time job takes up a whole lot of time. It just doesn't leave much time for the fun stuff like blogging or having a social life. Keeping track of everyone's schedule is a full time job in itself. We managed to only forget 1 parent teacher conference this year, so we're off to a decent start.

Our crazy life remains just as crazy as it's always been, but the major bumps in the post-adoption road do seem to be smoothing out a bit. Yes, adopting an older child is much, much, much more difficult than I had planned for (perhaps, that is the down side of being a perpetual optimist). The good news is that wee do seem to be settling into our own groove.

So... here's what's been happening around our place these last few months.

BIRTHDAYS

Fall is a busy birthday time for us. We have 3 birthdays within about 5 weeks of each other. Alyssa turned 9, Yeabi turned 6, and Matu turned 4. Since we've been watching our finances, I made the birthday cakes this year. Alyssa went with Littlest Pet Shop and Yeabi went with Star Wars, and Matu got spider man cupcakes from the grocery store. Not too bad for my first shot at homemade cakes.

SCHOOL

Yeabi is attending all day kindergarten at the local independent school with his sister. Our public school only offers a half day option, and we really felt like Yeabi needed more. Needless to say, he is doing amazing! He is reading and writing well beyond the kindergarten level, and he seems to be a bit of a math whiz as well. Alyssa is making us proud in the fourth grade. We have definitely hit the girl drama this year, so that has been an education for us all.

Braeden and Matu get to go to school together at our local public school. Braeden is attending half day kindergarten and is making slow but steady strides. Of course, it's hard to see him so far behind his peers, but we have to constantly remind ourselves to enjoy his small successes as they come. Matu is in the preschool and seems to be having fun.

SOCCER

This fall was soccer crazy season. We had 3 of the 4 kids playing in 3 different leagues. Next fall, it will be all 4 playing... we must be a bit crazy!

Alyssa is playing select soccer this year and has absolutely fallen in love with soccer. She has gained such confidence, and it is so much fun to watch her.

Yeabi played in our community rec league, and he also had a great time. Unfortunately, he quickly learned that when you're fast, playing long ball soccer results in many goals. His mean parents make him play left footed to compensate.

Braeden played TOPS soccer, which is a league for children and adults with special needs. What an amazing experience! Once he figured it out, he had so much fun.

RUNNING

Mike has become quite the runner this year. In May, he did the Flying Pig 10K.

In October, he did his first half-marathon at the Disney Wine and Dine half-marathon. It was a great trip (one we did without kids). He had a great time and finished with a quite respectable time of 2:15. By the way, that's him AFTER the race. Afterwards, we walked through EPCOT enjoying champagne and international foods galore.
Alyssa, Mike and I all did our local 5 Mile Turkey Trot. Alyssa and I ran together, and I am pleased to say that I finished upright and did not require a visit to the local ER. As it was my first race in almost 15 years, I am glad that I finished.

Of course, we've also enjoyed our favorite fall activities:

The Haunted Hayride

Trick or Treating

The Annual Christmas Parade in our town

All in all, it's been a crazy but wonderful several months. I am so excited for this upcoming Advent and Christmas season. The tree is up, we are decorating today, and we have my family's Christmas celebration this weekend. Let the fun begin!

Lost

2011-06-12T15:39:00.000-04:00

This is what happens after a long day of Disney play!

A few months back, we made our first big family pilgrimage to Mecca... Disney World. If you have read my blog at all, you know that I have a Disney problem. There is some very serious debate as to whether we go to Disney for me or for the kids. Well, this last trip was a blast! However, we learned a lot about how we travel as a family of 6, and it will certainly mold how we travel in the future.

This last trip has provided what will now be a classic tale in our family adventures... the story of the longest morning of my life.

We have a tradition that I get up early in the mornings while we are at Disney and head down to get coffee to bring back to the room. It's one of those small things that I enjoy doing for Mike, and it gets me going in the morning. This year, Braeden decided to join me on my morning forages. We'd grab his shoes and head down in his PJ's for some time to play before everyone else wakes up.

On the last morning of our trip, Braeden was sick and running a fever, so we'd put him to bed in a diaper and a t-shirt. That morning, he had no interest in joining me, so I headed out on my own at 6:30 to get coffee. When I returned, something in the room didn't sound right. I checked the beds and found a disturbingly empty bed where Braeden's little body was supposed to be. Checks of the other beds found nothing.

"Mike. Get up. Braeden is gone." That probably make the top 10 list of things no parent wants to hear. However, at a little before 7 AM, that's what Mike got. Sure enough, there was no sign of the little man. Mike went next door and woke up his parents. While Grandpa and I began to scour the hotel, Mike called security to get some help. "What does he look like?" they asked. "Uh.. He's wearing a diaper and t-shirt and has Down Syndrome. That should do it."

Now, if you're going to lose a child, Disney is a great way to do it. I recruited several helpers in the early morning hours as we canvassed the hotel. About 20 minutes later, security found him. Apparently he decided that he wanted to get coffee after all. He found his way to the elevator bank and was having a grand time pushing all the buttons and riding the elevator up and down. As far as he was concerned, he wasn't lost; he was just riding another fun Disney ride.

Lesson learned. Next time we will be bringing door alarms to prevent my master escapee from taking his own tour of Disney.

Where do I go from here?

2011-05-11T09:45:00.001-04:00

Hmm... 2 months since my last post. It appears that I am struggling. It turns out that having 4 small(ish) children is a whole lot of work. Between running kids to activities, trying to keep up with the loads of laundry, keeping the house picked up (clean went away a long time ago), and the never ending discipline there isn't much room for me to get anything else done. Oh, yeah, and I'm still working full time on top of all this! I went to the dentist, and the hygienist asked me what I do in my free time.... "sleep". That's the best I could come up with.

I've been trying to decide where to go from here with my blog. It was started to keep people updated on our adoption process and ended up being a nice way for me to connect with other adopting families. With our adoption complete, I'm not really sure how to focus my thoughts here.

I could talk about the challenges of adopting a child from "a hard place". Quite frankly, that's fairly hard for me to talk about, although if I had any sense it would be free therapy for me. I could talk about the funny things that my kids do. I could share my love for Down Syndrome and my passion for my "baby" boy. Of course, there's my new found passion for adoption of children with special needs. Perhaps, I can get really deep and discuss my search for truth, faith, and religion.

Then again, this would be assuming that I could find some time to write more than once every 2 months. So, for those last 1 or 2 among you who still follow along with me... any opinions, suggestions, thoughts???

In the meantime, I am going to work on a quick update on what has been going on in our crazy, upside down family.

One Year!

2011-03-02T17:05:00.000-05:00

Today we celebrate our one year-a-versary with the boys. 1 year ago, we met them for the first time, hugged them for the first time, and got our first glimpse of what our future would hold. That day, their world was changed forever. That day, our world was turned upside down.

This year has been filled with ups and downs, the invariable roller coaster of adopting an older child. It has been a year of tremendous learning... learning how to be parents all over again, learning how to answer the very hard questions that our children ask us, learning how to be a family of 6, and learning to laugh at ourselves (still working on that one).

We are getting there. No. We are not there yet. To be quite honest, in some ways, we still have a way to go. We've mastered buying a lot of groceries and putting together a meal for 6 people with very different tastes. We have not mastered some of the behaviors and social awkwardness that our boys continue to struggle with.

At the end of the year, though, we are a family. Dysfunctional at times. Cranky at times. Happy at times. We cry together, laugh together, and (yes, amazing) even have fun together.

Then:

Now:

The boys enjoyed some real injera and shiro a few weeks ago. They really loved teaching their big sister how to eat it.

We took a family trip to Disney to celebrate our first year together (more about that later). You know you're family when you take a family vacation to Disney!

Christmas 2010

2011-01-10T19:15:00.002-05:00

Whew! What an amazing Christmas this has been! Yes, I am aware that it was almost 3 weeks ago, but since I haven't finished putting my Christmas decorations away, I figure I'm still good for my Christmas post.

It turns out that Christmas as a family of 6 is really chaotic. Let me say that again... CHAOTIC!!! However, it was a ton of fun! Yeabi and Matu figured out the whole present thing very quickly. The whole Jesus as a baby (not on a Cross) part created a lot of angst for Yeabi, so we'll have to tackle that one next year.

We enjoyed sharing our old family traditions as well as creating some new ones for our whole family this year.

Baking Cookies with Daddy

Making the Gingerbread House with Mommy

(and watching Mommy remember that this is a child's project not her pursuit of perfection)

Christmas Eve Fondue (Mmmm!)

Reading the Advent Storybook with Mom

Christmas Eve Present (matching PJ's, of course)

I'm proud to call myself "Mom" to this gang!

Robes and slippers for all

A very special first Christmas!

A Day of Gratitude: Family

2010-12-04T19:00:00.000-05:00

One of the reasons that I dislike working on the holidays is that it seems like every holiday that I work, somebody dies. I know that when I have to go tell the family that Grandma died, Christmas will never be the same for those people ever again. A couple of years ago, I had an older gentleman die on Christmas Eve. We waited and waited for family to come in, but no one ever did. This poor man died, and he had no one. No crazy Uncle Harry who drove everyone insane, no dysfunctional sister who antagonized everyone, no annoying mother who could never be satisfied.

I suspect that we all have our fair share of dysfunction in our extended families, but today I am thankful for that. I grew up in a family with a mom, a dad, a brother and a sister who sometimes screamed and shouted but who were always there for each other. Out of the house for over 18 years now, it is usually my sister that I call when I am worn out and emotionally bankrupt. I have a brother that was willing to come and watch all 4 of my kids (even though he has none of his own yet) when we were strapped for childcare. While my parents are getting older, they are still willing to pitch in and help out to watch my kids.

I am also very fortunate to have an extended family of in-laws who are amazing. Despite the fact that they just can't understand why all their children are married to obsessive planner-types, they accept us just how we are. I am looking forward to my in-laws joining us our next Disney adventure. I know that they won't likely be able to keep up with our pace, but I love that my children will get to share these memories with them.

As I sometimes experience frustration and stress with all the family logistics of the holidays, I am reminded about how fortunate and blessed I am to have them.

A Day of Gratitude: Hayrides

2010-12-02T11:45:00.000-05:00

That scratchy, nasty piece of straw lodged firmly down the backside of your jeans that can only be removed with some less than discrete maneuvers. The smell of horse manure in the air. The reminder with every bump and jolt that you are no longer 21. Oh yeah! I love it!

I pick this as my first day of gratitude for a couple of reasons. 1. It shows off how cute my kids really are. 2. It reminds me that some of the most fun is sometimes a bit painful too. 3. It's one of those small, little things in life that brings a little extra joy.

We have been going to the "haunted hayride" at a farm just a couple of miles from us for several years now, and it has become one of our fall family traditions. The kids love going through the mud and muck and up and down the big hills in the wagon. It is always accompanied by squeals of joy, although I do remember Braeden falling asleep his first year. We stop at the pumpkin patch half way through and the kids get their pumpkins while I struggle to get back onto the wagon without the assistance of steps. Yeabi and Matu loved their first trip in the wagon, and I'm quite certain we'll be going back again.

The world would certainly not end without our annual hayride, but it is one of those small, special things that makes me smile every year.

A Season of Hope

2010-12-01T13:40:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows me well knows that the Christmas season is, far and away, my favorite time of year. I cannot stand winter, but I will tolerate it for this next month of hope and joy. This past Sunday was the beginning of advent, the weeks leading up until Christmas. I spent most of the Thanksgiving weekend working as I was scheduled 4 out of the 5 days my kids were off school. I was frustrated, angry, and downright irritable. I worked on Advent Sunday and was humbled to remember that this was the start of the Christmas season. I was reminded that, in the midst of the overwhelming chaos of my life, there is so much more going on and so very much to be grateful for.

As anyone who has kids knows, this season is very busy. I am working full time, trying to keep the house together, trying to get the kids to all of their activities, and stretching myself about as far as I can stretch. As I often tell my kids... I think that it's time to slow down a little bit. I have neglected my blog for over 2 months now; perhaps that's being so busy, and perhaps it's just being so overwhelmed with the "hardness" of having 4 kids and doing an older child adoption that has kept me from writing. I'm not really sure, but I am going to try to get back into my groove again.

I am going to take advantage of this advent season to reflect on some of those amazing things in my life as well as some of those rather mundane things that just keep me going. I could complain forever about the bad things, but I think that taking a few moments a day to talk about the good things could really turn around my perspective.

For now... Peace, hope and joy to all of you as we celebrate this holiday season!

... On Toddler and Preschooler Adoption

2010-09-20T10:00:00.001-04:00

I think that each age group in adoption has its own special and unique challenges. As a mother of both a newly adopted toddler and preschooler, I will acknowledge that these are some of the more difficult ages to adopt.

However, if we want to talk about making a difference in the lives of orphans, this is a pretty darn good place to start. If you have the time to visit the government-run orphanages in Ethiopia, you will understand this very quickly.

What a tender and fragile age to be on your own in this cruel and scary world. By 3, our oldest was already roaming the streets on his own. By 3 1/2, he was in charge of watching his 1 1/2 year old sibling. Punishment was not a time-out; it was a beating that left scars on those tiny bodies. Life is hard when you're a small child with no money and no hope for help. Ever wondered what it's like to starve? Ask my 5 year old. He will tell you what they did to survive, and it will break your heart.

It gets so much harder when you lose whatever family you may have had. At 2 and 4, you may not understand the concept of family, but you sure know what it's like when those who have cared for you all your life are gone and you are alone.

I make this as an appeal to those in the process of adopting. Consider the older child.

The non-infant adoption is not for everyone. It is hard, and the challenges that it poses can be overwhelming. There are years of damage and pain and trauma that must be healed. There are behaviors that can be exhausting. But there is also a strength of spirit and personality that will occasionally shine through. Parenting the older child will require every bit of love and compassion that you can muster. It requires a creativity in parenting that is not seen with most other children.

As wait times for adoption of infants continue to increase, it is my hope and prayer that this will open up doors for 2 groups of children that so desperately need mommies and daddies and loving homes.... the older child and the child with special needs. Thousands of these children will wait on lists for years and never find homes. HIV+ children and children with medical problems that could be easily treated here in the United States will die with no one to hold them while so many people wait on lists for that "perfect baby".

As you can see, my trip to Ethiopia and my adoption of two "older" boys made an huge impact on me. It has changed how I view so many things about adoption, and it has given me a mission for those unwanted souls. Oh, how my heart wants to be the home to all those left behind. For now, though, I have 2 small hearts to help heal, and a passion to bring awareness for all the others.

...On Boys

2010-09-16T11:45:00.000-04:00

Let me start by saying that mothers of boys should receive a special place in heaven. Boys are a whole new and very confusing world for me. I have a friend who has 5 boys and another who has 4 boys, and I don't know how they do it. Ask any parent who has 2 or more boys, and they can give you a dissertation on the difference between boys and girls. I never really got it before; now, I do.

I really believe that some women are made to mother boys. I, on the other hand, was intended to have girls and children with Down Syndrome.
The world of boys has been a complete culture shock for me. I just don't get them. Why on earth they feel that they must constantly wrestle and chase one another, I just don't know. They can create anything into a weapon. I can't even begin to count the number of toys that have been placed into time-out because they have been used to attack another sibling. If you do not have boys, you may not realize that a stadium horn is a perfect sword, and a granola bar serves a very useful second function as a gun.

From the second that they awaken until the moment that sweet, blissful sleep overtakes them, they do not stop. It is action, action, action and noise, noise, noise. Of course this is magnified by the fact that I have 3 boys that are all within 2 1/2 years of each other, and one of them is definitely on the super-hyperactive side of the boy spectrum. If you love the noise and busyness of children, let me strongly suggest boys. If, however, you are like me and prefer to sit in a quiet room and read a book, perhaps you should consider girls.

Ironically, the whole boy thing has been one of the biggest challenges for me. I've struggled with figuring out what is bad behavior and what is normal boy behavior. I really wish that I had spent some time observing typical boys before we unleashed the boy chaos at our home.

Fortunately, Mike gets it. He loves the boy stuff, which does give us a little balance. What I'm learning with the boys is to just relax and let it go. No amount of yelling or disciplining is going to keep them quiet, but it will certainly make me crazy. There is a lot of "choosing your battle" with boys of this age. Perhaps if you start a boy from birth, you can mold them a bit more. But at 2 and 5, mine have already had years of these behaviors. It is now a matter of converting their energy from aggressive to healthy activity.

Now, don't get me wrong. Boys are not all bad, they are just more exhausting than girls. Rumor has it that the girl drama will take over the boy chaos, but I'll have to wait and see on that one.

Here are a few new phrases that are now heard at our house:

"Just because you can pee there doesn't mean that you should."
"Gross! Mom! The toilet seat is wet!"
"Get off your brother."
"No pinching, hitting, kicking, or biting."
"Put the seat down."
"Everybody on a different couch for 5 minutes."
"This toy is now in time-out for the rest of the day."
"Stop climbing on top of each other."
"This is not a gun/sword."
"No more running in the kitchen."
"Do not jump off of that."
"Yeah... you're just going to have to go back to time out again."

Celebrating Birthdays and Going Back To School

2010-08-30T12:00:00.000-04:00

Wow! It has been a busy couple of weeks around here. The summer seems to have flown by, and I can't believe that it's already the end of August.

Just a little over a week ago, we were excited to celebrate Yeabi's 5th birthday. He'd already been a part of Braeden's birthday, so he was very excited about party hats, cake, and presents. We kept it small this year, which worked out perfectly for everyone. He wanted Spiderman (actually, he really wanted Cinderella, but Spiderman was a great 2nd choice), so we decorated the house with all the Spidey gear you could ask for.

Finally, he got his big boy bike. That pink and purple hand me down is so last year.

This past Saturday, Alyssa turned 8 (oh, where is my little girl going?). Instead of having a party this year, she decided that she would rather celebrate her birthday party with her family at the indoor water park. We spent the night in the kid's suite (bunkbed included) and enjoyed 2 days at the water park. They all had a blast! Of course, keeping track of all the boys with just the two of us was a bit of a challenge. I think we'll try this again when they are all a little bit older.

And, of course, it is now back to school time. Alyssa went back last week, and is really enjoying her independence as one of the kids in "older class". She has moved up to the 3rd/4th grade class, which should provide a lot of good challenges for her.

Braeden and Yeabi returned to school today. They are both in the 5 year old/Pre-K class this year. Fortunately, they had enough kids to make 2 classes this year, so they are in separate classes. I love watching them ride the bus together. Matu had a hard time saying goodbye to his brothers this morning, so I think he'll be ready next month when it's his turn.

Did she actually dress them in the same shorts?

Yes... I am that cool. They are so cute, and I just had to have 2. I mixed it up with different shirts, so that's OK. Right?!

... On Adoption

2010-08-20T17:15:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don't know, we have had our fair share of challenges since bringing our boys home. While these are 2 wonderful and amazing boys, we have our work cut out for us to help shape and mold these boys into the sweet little children they were meant to be. Life has dealt them a rough deal, and it is our challenge to help them overcome those hard things of their past.

I was recently asked by a colleague if knowing what I know now, would I do it all again. My answer is unequivocally "Yes!". But, I would do things very differently. First and foremost, I would have been a lot more honest and realistic with myself. Second, I would have lowered my expectations a whole lot. I am going to try to bravely and honestly talk about some of those challenges, and perhaps it will provide a tiny hint of insight to others along our path.

We've been home for 5 months now, and I can say that things are so much better. Every day things seem to get better. I'm realistic enough to know that it will probably take a good year to really adjust (for all 6 of us), but I now feel optimistic that it really will be good.

Emotions run so high in the adoption process that sometimes it's difficult to talk about the "hard things". And rest assured... there are some hard things. This emotional high also makes it difficult to really assess yourself and be honest with yourself as you make some of the most difficult decisions along the way. However, I think these are among the most important decisions that we make.... decisions like age, gender, numbers. These are some really difficult decisions, and I think that it's so easy to get carried away with emotion that you forget what you really can and can't handle. Because, I seriously doubt that there is anyone out there who can handle everything, and I think that learning what you can and can't do is essential.

I think that anyone who has spent time visiting orphanages will be changed forever. It is very difficult to see those teeny, tiny infants with no one to hold or nurture them. It is even worse to see that special needs child tethered to a bed so that they cannot get out. It certainly makes me want to become a mother to 20. Why should a child ever have to live (and often die) that way? Why are there thousands of couples who are heartbreakingly childless when there are millions of children who are motherless and fatherless?

Adoption is incredible and amazing... and hard. It is not for the weak or cowardly. I wish I could convince everyone to bring one of these many children home, but I also know that adoption is not for everyone. It will not always bring you tremendous self-fulfillment, and you may not always get the love or respect you have earned. This is one of those things that you may have to dig deep within yourself to realize that what you've done is the right thing to do... even if it doesn't always feel good. There are plenty of people who say they admire you, and there are just as many who question and criticize what you do.

So, I climb onto my soapbox, and I ask this. What can you do for these children? Maybe you can be honest enough with yourself to say, "I am not strong enough to do this" or "this is just not an option for our family right now". But you can still do something. Sponsor a family... there are plenty of families who would love to add another child, but the finances are out of their reach. Provide humanitarian aide... many organizations collect donations to send to children in need. And then ask yourself the hard questions.... Is there room for one more in my house? Am I willing to possibly travel down a very long and hard road for the love of a child?

The funny thing about adoption is that it is addictive. It may be one of the hardest things you do in your life, but you will always and forever be connected to those left behind.

Taking the Blinders Off

2010-08-09T07:50:00.000-04:00

I actually wrote this post about a month ago when we were at the nadir of our journey with the boys. I am happy to report that things are heading in a positive direction. However, my beliefs and feelings about this journey haven't changes which is why I'm choosing to post this now.

Sometimes it's hard to be completely honest... with our family, our friends and with ourselves. I feel such an overwhelming pressure to present adoption as a wonderful, positive and truly amazing process. And it is... Really, it is.

But the reality is that adoption is hard. Sometimes it is really, damn hard. Now don't get me wrong; for some families it may not be a big deal. Whether that is because the child is particularly malleable or the parents are very laid back and flexible, there are plenty of "perfect" adoption stories. But for many of us, not only is it not all "sunshine and rainbows" but it is exhausting and heartbreaking and emotional and just plain brutal sometimes.

Is it possible to present adoption in a positive light but still be honest about the difficulties that can coming along with it? I certainly hope so, because the greatest disservice that we can do to each other is to pretend to be happy and upbeat when our hearts are breaking. Not only do we fail to educate and prepare those coming behind us, but we manage to isolate ourselves even more as we put the window dressing on our struggles.

I remember reading some of the stories of women who were brave enough to talk about the hard times long before we saw our boys' faces. I hated reading those posts, but the consolation that those words provided me in the weeks following our journey to Ethiopia was immeasurable.

So, here's the truth. My absence of posts is truly a reflection of my difficulty talking about what's really going on at our house... the behaviors, the adjustment, the uphill battles, the stories of life "before", and the tears shed. In the first month, we had "good hours" and occasionally "good mornings or afternoons". Now, we have "good days" that come up close to even with those tough days. But the truth is... it has been hard for us. It has been hard for the boys. We take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, but most of the time we still go forward.

Here's a little more ugly truth. I was ill-prepared, I was unrealistic, and I have not always been the best Mom to 4 little children that look to me for love and direction. I have had to readjust my expectations, and I daily have to practice "letting it go".

So my point in all of this is that it's time to stop pretending that life is perfect so that we can make some forward progress. Perhaps it will help others to learn from my mistakes. In the next few weeks, I'm going to talk a little more about what I've learned and hopefully provide an honest perspective of what it means to create a family through adoption. Because, despite all of this I really do believe in adoption, and I believe with everything in me that this life is a rewarding life.

Summertime Fun

2010-07-05T16:00:00.001-04:00

No doubt about it... finding time to blog as a mother of 4 is quite a challenge. We are keeping plenty busy enjoying our summer though. We are all loving time at the neighborhood pool, although I'm not sure our neighbors are loving our whole entourage when we show up. Yeabi and Matu just love being at the pool. While they are a long way from being able to swim, they are making great strides at getting toward water safety.

We were finally able to make it up to my parents' lake house last weekend. Alyssa has been busy preparing Yeabi for all the fun, and it did not disappoint. He got into the house and squealed about how amazing the water and the beach are. (I can only imagine what he will think the first time we go to the ocean).

Jumping off the dock was a huge hit for both Yeabi and Alyssa who seem to think that they are fish.
Yeabi caught (and released) his first fish. He was so proud of himself.
We even got a little tubing in. It was all fun and games until Grandpa dumped Alyssa and me. Needless to say, I was a bit sore after that excursion.

Making It Official

2010-06-24T20:45:00.001-04:00

Well, it's official... we have completed our readoption for the boys. While it seemed like a daunting prospect, it really was not bad at all. We were able to do it ourselves (with a little bit of help from the secretary in the county office).

The judge gave the boys American Flag pins, which is a tradition in our county. I don't think they have any clue what that means, but they were very proud of their souveniers. We, of course, are pleased to see that the adoption is officially recognized by the U.S. courts as well. Now, on to permanent citizenship and passports!

We did take the boys out for a special lunch to celebrate. It's happening slowly, but we are becoming family.

Making Momma Proud

2010-06-12T15:30:00.000-04:00

After an extended blogging hiatus.... I am back. Much more to come over the next several weeks that will certainly answer those questions about our life as a family of 6.

However, today I want to celebrate 2 very special people in my life and congratulate them for their amazing accomplishments. They have also been my saving grace over the past 3 1/2 months and the many challenges that have come along with it.

First, is my sweet little girl. Alyssa's school has a "Mustang Stampede" every year during the final week of school. Despite forgetting to do any training at all, my little runner amazed us all. She won first in her age division, but also managed the fastest time for girls up to age 9 and all children up to age 8. Perhaps running is in her future. She can now officially outrun me. Way to go, Alyssa!

My second round of congrats go to my hubby! After 2 years of hard work, Mike has officially graduated with his Master's degree. It has been a whole lot of balance and sacrifice to get there, but he has done it. More impressively, he has completed his degree with a 4.0. Especially with our adoption right in the middle of his program, he has given up just about every bit of free time to get this done. Way to go, Babe! As Mike is celebrating his birthday today and it is the World Cup USA vs England game, he has elected to forgo his graduation ceremony. We held our own ceremony here at home this morning... complete with a make-shift cap and gown.

2 Months!?

2010-05-04T10:35:00.000-04:00

Wow! It's hard to believe it's been 2 months since we finally met the boys. In many ways, it feels like forever, and in other ways, it feels like just yesterday.

To say that the boys have changed a lot in this time is a huge understatement. Not only have they put on several pounds each, but they are really starting to settle into the family. While many of the behavior issues still exist, they are SO MUCH better. You would think Alyssa and Yeabi have been brother and sister their entire lives. They hit the car and the "Mom, he took my toy" "Mom, she's touching me" begins. He knows just how to get under her skin, and she has learned the joy of being the only girl.

This morning, all 3 boys engaged in a game of "Chase". While this may not seem like a big deal, we have been working for 5 years to see Braeden play and interact with other children his age like this. Last night, Braeden went to find Matu to ask him to play cars with him.... Big stuff for us!

The language is coming along beautifully! Yeabi has picked up English quite well; it's still broken, but we communicate just fine. I find myself jealous of how quickly his 3rd language seems to be coming to him.

Yeabi has started school which has been amazing for him. He absolutely loves it. He gets off the bus every day overflowing with stories about his day. School seems to be really helping out with his language as well as a lot of the behaviors we were dealing with early on. He is also enjoying gymnastics and soccer. Yeabi is very athletic and seems to be taking to soccer quite easily (if only he'd remember to not run the other children over).

I am back to work and have thoroughly enjoyed working part time. I return full time next week and am feeling very anxious about how to balance everything. I am hoping that I may be able to coerce my group into letting me cut my hours in the near future (although with the whole time-off fiasco, that may be a bit of a long shot).

Lately I've been reflecting on the whole adoption process... what I've learned, what I would do differently, and how our lives have changed as a result. I am going to try to put all these crazy, jumbled up thoughts together to share with the blog world. It's partly for me to just put all those thoughts spinning around in my brain into logical format, and perhaps it will give some perspective to those in the process or considering the options of international adoption. With 4 kids, it may take a while to get this together, but I'm going to give it a shot.

My Triplets

2010-04-27T11:45:00.000-04:00

One of the interesting dynamics that we've observed since bringing the boys home is the interactions the children have with each other. Some days, it is awesome. And on others... well, it's a work in progress.

In most larger families, kids tend to partner off. Whether it be by gender or by age, kids seem to form little groups. With 3 little boys so close in age, they tend to form their own little posse. From oldest to youngest, they are all less than 2 1/2 years apart, and they do tend to adore each other. They have an amazing ability to team up together to get themselves into trouble. Let's just say keeping track of all 3 of them by yourself is quite a challenge.

I've had so much fun having them all so close, though. While I rarely dress them the same (exception being their matching PJ's... just because I can), they are often in matching colors so that I can easily locate them. Orange, in particular, is a favorite as it is easy to spot in a crowd. I've been so happy to see the boys bonding together and becoming a little team. It helps that Braeden is so easy going and rarely gets upset, even when the other 2 take his toys away. They are really starting to be brothers.

Some things I do just because I can.

As a result of the excessive splashing, this is a rarity.

Mama's handsome little men.

The Story of Braeden

2010-04-17T22:00:00.003-04:00

As we celebrate Braeden's 5th birthday today, I am choosing to share the story of my sweet little boy. It is a long one and not for everybody. Braeden, this is for you.

We all have special life-changing moments in our lives... marriage, the birth of our first child, a special trip, the list goes on. For me, there is one event that changed my life more than any others... Braeden's birth. It has irrevocably changed me to the core. It changed my relationship with Mike and Alyssa, it altered what I value and how I define success, it changed my beliefs and my relationship with a God who I believed would not allow this kind of bad thing to happen to his faithful, and it brought me to Africa and my 2 youngest boys.

This is the story of Braeden and how our world was turned upside down. It is at times heartbreaking and sad, and it is at times ugly and honestly brutal. In the end, it is a story of one very sweet boy and the journey that we've made to be his parents. There are feelings here that I've never shared with anyone... not my parents, my sister, my friends. Sometimes, they are not very pretty. Inevitably, there will be some who will judge and look down on me. If I allow myself to be honest, I cannot change that. This story reflects my own humanity, my imperfection, and my weakness. Simply, it is me.

In the spring of 2004, Mike and I decided that we were ready to have another child. Why not? We had one wonderful little girl and adding a second seemed like a great idea. By May, I was pregnant. When we had an 8 week ultrasound, we found out that I had miscarried. I had a D & C a couple of weeks later. I was devastated and heartbroken. I cried on and off for weeks. I was scared, but I wasn't ready to give up yet.

2 months later, I was pregnant again. The first trimester was such a period of stress and anxiety for us. Who would have thought I'd be happy to throw up? This time my ultrasound showed a baby with a heart beat. We were thrilled! At my 14 week visit, we heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was a bit slow and hard to find, but it was there. That scary first trimester was behind us.

Unfortunately, the second trimester brought even greater challenges. When I was about 18 weeks pregnant, we took Alyssa to Disney World. We had such an amazing time. But while there, I began having contractions.... Braxton-Hicks I was sure. That was until I had to sit down because they were so intense. When we got home, I mentioned it to my OB/GYN. She thought it was probably nothing but suggested that we check my cervical length at my 20 week ultrasound. You know it's never good when the ultrasound tech leaves the room to get the doctor. The news was that my cervix appeared very short, and she was concerned that I might begin to dilate and deliver prematurely.

I was then sent on to the High Risk OB/GYN. A much more extensive ultrasound revealed that not only was my cervix too short, but I was also starting to dilate. There were also some concerns about a dilated lateral ventricle (part of the brain) with our baby. The doctor said this was probably nothing to worry about, but I still remember wondering, "I hope this doesn't mean that my baby will be retarded."

After consultation with my OB/GYN and the High Risk OB/GYN, we decided to place a cerclage (a stitch placed in the cervix to keep it closed and prevent premature dilation and delivery). Despite my overwhelming guilt at doing so, I also decided to stay on bed rest until 24 weeks (the generally accepted age of viability). Things seemed to be going well. My doctor gave me medicine in case I started to contract again, and I was allowed to go to work with restrictions that I had to lie down every 2 hours. Within 2 weeks of returning to work, I was actively contracting again and was returned to strict bed rest.

Over the next 3 months, I lived on the couch and my bed and was allowed to get up once a day. I could either take a shower or eat a meal at the table. I also had a pump in my leg which continuously infused medicine to keep me from contracting. Unfortunately, that medicine also made me jittery and made my heart race. I wanted a healthy baby, so I stuck with it. During that time I prayed daily... praying for a happy, healthy child, a child that would be able to live a full life. I believed with everything in me that that's what would happen.

At 28 weeks, our baby's measurements fell off charts. The baby was diagnosed with IUGR (intrauterine growth retardation). As I was continuing to throw up regularly and was developing an ulcer, I was not gaining any weight. My doctor thought that our baby's growth issues were due to inadequate nutrition, and she encouraged me to eat more. Now, in the over 30 years of my life, no one had ever told me to eat more, so eat I did. I was able to gain a whopping 14 pounds in this pregnancy, and the baby continued to measure small.

I continued weekly visits to my doctors. During that time I had a total of 14 ultrasounds, many of which were those cool 3-D ultrasounds. I loved them, but I remember how much Mike hated them. Every time we had one, it freaked him out. He later admitted to me that every time he saw our baby, that baby looked retarded to him. All throughout that pregnancy, Mike felt that something was very, very wrong, and I held true to my belief that this baby was just fine. I just needed to keep him/her in there long enough.

At 37 weeks, the cerclage was removed. I dilated to 3 cm within 10 minutes. 1 week later it was 4 cm. 1 week later I was induced (ironic, huh?!). April 17, 2005. In many ways I remember that day so vividly and in others, it is just a fog.

We showed up at 7 AM to find out that my doctor had forgotten. No problem! We were still a "Go!". I was contracting nicely and a little pitocin had me going well. However, I stalled out in my contractions. The baby's heartbeat started dropping. I was still OK with it; I've spent enough time in L & D rooms to not freak out easily. Eventually, things started moving; I was fully dilated, and the baby's heartbeat was really dropping. I remember the nurse on the overhead speaker trying to get the doctor in there quickly. She made it. 2 pushes later, he was out (like I said, he was on the small side).

"It's a boy!" Sweet relief! He was OK! He cried (a little). I remember holding him and looking down and seeing his club foot; that's OK, God, it's just a club foot. No problem. (Seriously, I noticed the stupid club foot and missed everything else). The nurse took him over to the warmer to check him out and called the doctor over... still, I'm too dense to notice anything. She wrapped him up and brought him to me. I was so proud! He was beautiful! He was perfect! Mike was not comfortable.

"Sweetie, he doesn't look right!"
"No, honey, he's just fine. Isn't he beautiful?"
"I don't know... his ears look funny, and his eyes don't look right."
By this time, I'd had enough criticism of my boy. "Stop it. He's fine! Why can't you just relax."

Over the next 2 hours, our families came to see Braeden and hold him. I tried to nurse him, but he just couldn't seem to latch on. "Funny. Alyssa had no problems. Maybe he just needs more time". Eventually, the nurse came to take him to the nursery to be "checked out". Now, what I didn't know then but I know now is that our nurse recognized the Down Syndrome immediately. With her years of nursing skill, she allowed herself to be comfortable enough to let us keep him with us. I will be forever grateful to Jeni for allowing us these 2 hours of joy as it was the last bit of joy we had for quite some time.

After what seemed like an eternity, the NICU nurse came to see us... with no baby. "Where's my baby? I want my baby now." With a heart of compassion, she explained to us that our baby was having some problems. He was having some breathing difficulties, and his oxygen was low. The neonatologist was coming in to see him (on a Sunday, no less). Oh, and they were putting in an IV. Well, that's where I drew the line. "No IV's, no blood draws until I talk with the doctor". (Yes, I was one of those parents).

They wheeled me down to the NICU to see Braeden. His sweet little body was tucked under a warmer with an oxygen hood. The tears began to flow freely. With an epidural not worn off, I stood up on some pretty wobbly legs to hold his hand. Shortly thereafter, the neonatologist showed up. He explained to us that his oxygen was low, his color was bad, and that he could not suck properly (hence my failed nursing). Then he said those words that would forever change our lives. "I believe that he has Down Syndrome". I know that there were lots of words that came after that, but I really could not remember them. There was something about a heart condition and maybe surgery. Somewhere in my brain, I thought it was a heart condition OR Down Syndrome. I was devastated. "God, I asked you for healthy child! I did everything I was asked to do! Why did this happen to me?" I remember hoping that maybe it would be a heart condition that we could get fixed and move on with our lives. This was followed with the hope that it would be a heart condition and that my baby would die so that we wouldn't have to live with this forever. I did not want a baby with Down Syndrome. I wanted my happy, healthy baby back. I wanted my dreams back.

I spent the next 2 days in the hospital with my baby boy. Together, Mike and I grieved. We cried, we isolated ourselves from family and friends, and we struggled to find some way to go on. In this time, I exhausted myself with trying and failing to nurse and pumping every second I had time. I missed Braeden's first bath, multiple feedings, and teetered the line between guilt, anger, and sorrow. I also came to accept that Braeden did, indeed, have Down Syndrome. As I looked at him and eventually held him, I came to see and touch all of the features of Down Syndrome. Our echocardiogram showed relatively minor heart conditions, none of which would require surgery. Yes, this was the life I was going to have. When we had used up all of our time in the hospital, we were discharged home. As we left the hospital that night, I sobbed. You are not supposed to leave the hospital without your baby. I still cannot return to that hospital without getting emotional. The next time I returned in 2008 for another miscarriage, it was like opening up a raw wound all over again.

Over the subsequent 8 days, I tried to do the dance of caring for one child at home and another one in the hospital. I was up at the crack of dawn to get to the hospital for Braeden's first feeding. I fed him every time I could and pumped after every feed and as many times in between. I decided that this baby was going to nurse come hell or high water. I decided that while he may have Down Sydrome, I was going to do everything I could to treat him like any other child. I cried, I ached, and some days I was just trying to survive. Slowly, he learned to suck, and together we figured out how to nurse him. His oxygen remained low, and I wondered if I would ever get to bring him home. On Day 10, I finally convinced them that I could handle him at home.

April 27, 2005
The Day Braeden Finally Came Home

Over the next several months, we made more visits to doctors and therapists than I thought possible. Slowly, he continued to grow and thrive. Slowly, we continued to grow and thrive. Down Syndrome just became a part of our life. It was not the best thing or the worst thing that has ever happened to us, it was just the biggest thing.

Now, 5 years later, I still look back on that day with sadness. That day probably was the worst day of my life. The roller coaster of emotions that we went on (from overwhelming joy to utter despair) exhausts me still to this day. And this year, like the last 5 before, I have shed my private tears, tears for my hopes and dreams lost, fears of the future that may be, and memories of that day 5 years ago. These are the tears of a mother who has loved with her whole being.

Over the past 5 years, we have been introduced to an amazing little boy. We've watched him struggle with every ounce of his being to do what other children do so easily. I've cried with his hurts and my own frustrations. I've cheered him on as he has learned to do so much. I've been overwhelmed with his love that flows so freely and without any underlying motives.

I am more in love with this little boy today than I ever was before. He is my boy, and I am so proud to be his mom. This is my Braeden.

All Smiles

2010-04-16T14:00:00.000-04:00

Ironic that this post comes directly after the Alpha child post. No, this is not a result of any kind of sibling rivalry kind of thing... it's just one of those things.

Alyssa lost one of her top teeth Wednesday evening after an encounter with the swing set. We have not been able to locate the tooth, so I think that it is making it's tour of her intestines at this time. The other one came out in school yesterday. The middle school teacher finally pulled it after Alyssa kept playing with it all day. She is officially my "toothless wonder". She is so cute, and her speech is hysterical! I can't help but laugh! These 2 have been loose since October. I was sure we'd be singing "All I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth", but it's taken much longer than expect for them to finally fall out.

Wednesday night... 1 tooth down, 1 to go.

Thursday afternoon... my toothless wonder.

In other fun news, I set up the baby pool and sprinkler for the kids yesterday. Oh my goodness, was it a joy to watch Yeabi and Matu. I'm pretty sure that was their first time in a swimsuit; I had to repeatedly tell Yeabi that he had to keep it on. They were shouting and squealing and having a great time. We finally made them come in when they were shivering so hard and their teeth were chattering so much that they couldn't talk any more. Have I mentioned lately.... I can't wait for summer!

Being Alpha

2010-04-14T12:35:00.000-04:00

Ladies and Gentleman, we are positioned for the epic battle of the decade here in Southwest Ohio. We are watching the hard core, serious vying for the title of Alpha dog/child of the M.C. United family. It is shaping up to be an intense clash of wills and the power struggle of all power struggles.

Here in the near corner we have Alyssa Marley. She is poised and ready to defend her title. With 7 years of being the oldest child in the family, she believes she has earned this role and is in no position to give it up. She brings 5 years of attempting to mother her younger sibling, she has mastered diaper changing, dressing a younger sibling, bossing that sibling around and being in charge. She is the oldest and wisest and lays strong claim to her role as the Alpha. Her tools in the battle are her size and wit. She has master manipulation skills and can turn most adults into putty with her cute smile and ability to win sympathy and compassion.

In the far corner we have quite the challenger. Yeabsera Michael has been playing the role of alpha and is not ready to give that up to a big sister. With very little prior adult supervision and parenting, he has learned to do it on his own. He has taken over the role as parent for his younger brother and has been the primary disciplinarian for his brother. He has learned to survive on the streets and in the group care centers, and it can be argued that he has spent the last 6 months battling for that alpha position in his care center with over 20 children. His tools in this battle are survival skills, strong will and stubbornness. He is not accustomed to listening to someone else and having them tell him what to do, so he is not going to be willing to concede this battle easily.

The referees in this battle are Mike and Maribeth. Maribeth brings the strongest will of all, so the rules will be strictly enforced in this one. It appears that a good sense of humor and an extra measure of love will be absolutely necessary to survive this contest.

Yes, Ladies and Gentleman, this should be a good one. The referees are hoping for a quick and bloodless battle, but only time will tell on this one. Wagers will need to be placed in a timely fashion as this one does seem to be heating up quickly. Watch closely as this should be a fascinating contention for the Alpha role.

First Day of Preschool

2010-04-10T16:35:00.000-04:00

This is my sweet, big boy (sorry, he just can't pass as my little boy) ready for his first day of (American) preschool. Oh, what an anxious day this was for me! We had met with a couple of schools before we got the boys to discuss preschool for next year. We had decided that sending them this year was just too soon. Well, within 2 days of having Yeabi, we realized that we were wrong. He functions so much better with structure and organization. He is also so personable that not having children his age to play with was very hard on him. The first week he was home with us, he was heartbroken that Braeden and Alyssa got to go to school and that we were not giving him this experience.

After meeting with the school and taking Yeabi to the classroom, we all decided that he was ready. What we did not decide is that his Mommy was ready to put him on that big bus of English speaking kids and watch it drive away. Yes, he begged to go on the school bus. I made him a name tag with his teacher's name and his bus numbers, and he was off.

One week into school and I can honestly say that it was a good decision. He gets off the bus everyday so happy and excited and full of exciting details of his day. Neither of my other children will even tell me what happened at school, so this is such a pleasure. It also seems to be helping him with his English language development tremendously.

Right now, we have Braeden in the AM and Yeabi in the PM. Next year, the boys will likely be in the same class. I'm not sure what I will do in the fall when all 3 boys head off to school together.

Can you tell how excited he is?!

A quick hug from baby brother before we go.

Waiting at the bus stop

Easter Fun

2010-04-08T12:30:00.001-04:00

We had a great Easter this year. It's still a bit crazy and overwhelming being a family of 6, but we're all finally starting to get it down. The boys still wonder about all of our crazy American ways, but since those ways often include candy and food... well, let's just say they're adapting well.

We braved it and took the boys to church, and they surprised us all by doing just great. I was a bit worried as I dropped them off in their respective rooms, but they were all smiles when we picked them up. Yeabi thought it was school and was very proud of his art project.

The Easter egg hunt was an experience as well. I split them into the big kids (Yeabi and Alyssa) who had to scour the backyard for treats and the "littles" (Braeden and Matu) who got to stay on the deck to look for theirs. Alyssa even saved a few for Yeabi to find, although he was much more interested in opening the eggs and eating the treats right away.

Yes, I know, they are the cutest kids ever!

"The Boys"
AKA: "The Terrible Trio"

Day 7: Meeting the Boys

2010-03-31T12:00:00.000-04:00

This was certainly an emotional day for us. After months of waiting to finally meet our boys, the day was here. All of the other families met their children on Monday, but since our flight from Mekele arrived so late we were asked to wait until Tuesday. Hmmm... that was not my best night of sleep.

The boys had asked us to come to their foster care center (usually the children are brought to the guest homes), so we made our way there Tuesday morning. Yet another holiday, all of the children were home from school that day. Let's just say that visiting the older kids' home is pure and unadulterated chaos. "Mob frenzy" might be another accurate description. You would have thought that Santa had come bringing brand new gifts the way that we were welcomed!

The boys came barreling down the stairs to see us, and all of my fears of shyness and excessive reservedness were quickly erased. They were hugging and loving all over us... everything we could ask for. We enjoyed some time outside in their yard, playing ball and balloons and bubbles. They boys took us inside to show us their room and to hand out suckers to their friends (word of wisdom: this is a recipe for disaster when all of the children are home). And then... they were ready to go. There were no tears and screaming or holding back. After seeing so many friends come and go, I think they knew what would happen.

The days after this were some very difficulty days for all of us, but this day remains sweetly etched in my heart and mind.

Weekend

2010-03-30T12:00:00.000-04:00

I am going to take a break from my travelogue to talk about this weekend which, by the way, ROCKED!!!! Saturday was the home-opener for the Crew, and we were excited to go. We were a bit apprehensive of how the boys would handle such a large, rowdy environment as well as how we were going to keep track of all 4 kids for tailgating and for the game. Needless to say, it was just fine. We had a great time tailgating. The kids had a great time playing together, and there's nothing quite like Yeabi and Matu doing a tackle on Alyssa to get the ball away from her. Our friends, Greg and Angie, were able to make it, and we enjoyed getting to see them again.

We had to get one extra season ticket this year and were able to move up 11 rows into some fabulous seats. The boys had a blast at the game. In his cute little Ethiopian accent, Yeabi would say "Crew, Go!" over and over. He loved the action of the crowds and the game and had a great time. Matu just sat on our laps and absorbed it. It should be a fun season for our family!

Sunday we drove up to see my sister and her family. They hadn't had a chance to meet the boys yet, so we all really enjoyed getting to see each other again. However, it may take them a month to recover from the chaos that our family seems to bring with us everywhere we go these days. Finally, the cousins all together.

Day 6: Mekele

2010-03-29T10:15:00.000-04:00

I can't really begin to talk about Mekele without talking about the Bana Center. For Gladney Families who have a child from Mekele or Tigray, they spent some time at the Bana Center. While this center does provide a way station for children coming into the Gladney Foster Care Centers, its true mission is far greater. The Bana Center is working within the community to provide education and aid. They have been providing HIV education, particularly with regards to prevention. They have established a program to provide formula to infants of HIV+ women, thus significantly decreasing mother-infant transmission. They certainly have a heart for their community and a mission to reach out to them. They have also partnered with Gladney in these endeavors. They will go out throughout the region to pick up orphaned children and bring them in to their care center. They will then bring them to Gladney's foster care center in Addis Ababa after they have been medically evaluated and treated.

This is the room where all our children were cared for. The women there are so kind and generous. This is the bed where our oldest stayed during their time in Mekele.

I think that we would be a bit remiss if we completely ignored that part of Ethiopia that is so hard for many of us... the overwhelming poverty. Traveling through Ethiopia is amazing and breathtaking, but there are also people who struggle to feed themselves and their children every day. Anyone who has traveled to Ethiopia can tell you about the people begging and how heart wrenching it can be. During this very exciting process of adoption and adding to our families, we need to remember those left behind in this beautiful and amazing country that has been ravaged by poverty, disease, and HIV.

There is a lot to see and do in Mekele. We visited the local market as well as visited the monument to the freedom fighters. As I've mentioned before, the Ethiopians and the people of Tigray, in particular, are very proud of their heritage and take every opportunity to celebrate it. This monument is one of those ways that they celebrate and honor those who sacrificed to maintain their independence.

This was our last day in Mekele and the end of my travelogue for that area. However, I have a couple hundred pictures of the are. I would be happy to share more of these pictures if anyone is interested. If you're interested, please leave me a note or email me, and I'll find a way to share all of my photos from the area.

Day 5: Tigray

2010-03-27T12:00:00.000-04:00

This day was probably the most memorable day of our traveling. Getting out of the city and into the countryside provided a completely different perspective on Ethiopia. The region around Mekele is called Tigray, and the Tigrinyan people are very stoic, independent and proud. Our mission this day was to see one of the rock hewn churches of Tigray. To do that, we had to travel over an hour into the countryside to get there.

This church was incredible. It was actually carved out of the mountainside and is close to 1,000 years old. The inside had been burned badly during a Christian-Muslim conflict but much of the interior could still be seen clearly. While we paid far more than we were supposed to pay to see this, it was worth the cost to experience this historic site.

Tigray is a very dry, somewhat rugged area. The topography is absolutely stunning, and the views are breathtaking at times. As we flew south from Mekele to Addis Ababa, it was fascinating to see the changes. About half way there it changed from brown and desolate with empty river beds to the green, lush regions of Central Ethiopia.

While we were in one of the cities of Tigray, we were able experience an Ethiopian Orthodox funeral. The town had lost one of its leaders in the Ethiopian Airlines crash in Lebanon. This ceremony was unlike anything I'd experienced before. The priests were dressed in robes and carrying large banners, and hundreds of mourners (men first then women and children) came behind crying and wailing in sorrow.

Later that day, our hosts took us to a coffee house to meet some of their friends and enjoy some fabulous Ethiopian coffee. This opportunity to spend time and interact with these people really made our experience in Ethiopia memorable.

While there are a handful of small and medium sized towns, a good portion of people reside in rural, small communities of rounded homes with hay roofs or small mud brick homes like these.

Camels were are fairly common site, used to transport a wide variety of goods.

Day 4: Mekele

2010-03-26T12:00:00.000-04:00

I know that there are many families who have adopted children from Mekele and the Tigray region. I am going to take some extra time to talk about our experience there. We were there for 3 days, and I will take a post for each day to talk about the area.

Let me start by saying that going to Mekele was absolutely worth it. I got a much better feel for Ethiopia and the Ethiopian people as a result of this trip. Instead of merely being a tourist, we were given the opportunity to actually experience Ethiopia. Additionally, I now have a much better grasp on how the adoption process with Gladney actually works. With the new adoption travel regulations, I suspect that people will be less likely to travel outside of Addis Ababa. If you can find a way, even if it's only for 1 day.... do it!

Gladney really helped facilitate this trip for us. They set up our hotel reservation for us, and they provided a driver for us. Our drivers really made this experience for us. Fitsum and Kaleab both work for the Bana Center (I'll talk more about that on Day 6), and they were incredible. They taught us about being Ethiopian and introduced us to many of their friends. Truly, they made this trip amazing!

We left early Saturday morning for Mekele. We had to be at the airport at 5 for our 7 o'clock flight. The domestic terminal in Addis Ababa is an experience! It is somewhat of a free for all, and maximum patience must be utilized. Things do not function the way they do in the U.S., and it's probably wise to just accept that early on. We often had no idea what was going on, but we just smiled and went with the flow.
We arrived in Mekele a couple of hours late (our flight in Addis was delayed), but our drivers/hosts were there to meet us. We drove around Mekele and got a feel for the city. Mekele is a medium sized city; it is much smaller than Addis Ababa but large enough to support several industries and have a handful of sites to see. On our first day, we went to the Emperor Yohannes IV castle. This has been converted into a museum with a variety of interesting artifacts to view. We got some terrific pictures here, but they were lost in the memory card incident. Fortunately, they are preserved in my memories.

We also got to visit the soccer/sports stadium in Mekele. Our hosts probably thought we were crazy, but we enjoyed getting to see the stadium. There was a fairly elite girls team practicing while we were there as were some para-olympians. Gladney even sponsors a team in Mekele who won their league last year.

Travelogue: Days 1-3, Traveling

2010-03-25T14:00:00.000-04:00

Well, it's only been 2 weeks since we've been home, and I'm just getting around to blogging about our trip. This is the life of a woman with 4 children!

Here's the point where I tell you the bad news.... we lost half of our pictures. The memory card on one of my cameras went bad, and we lost all of our pictures on that camera. Consequently, I have no pictures of our travel days or our first day in Addis. You are stuck with my verbal accounts of our trip.

We decided to fly Emirates for our trip to Ethiopia. This was partly due to cost as we had to purchase a total of 4 tickets for our return. Emirates ended up charging about 60% of a round trip ticket for the boys whereas Ethiopia Airlines charged a full fare (round trip) for the one-way trip for the boys. The other reason we chose Emirates was because of the timing of flights getting home.

For the most part, I liked Emirates (the bad part of the experience came on our return trip, and I will tackle that later). We ended up getting put on an earlier flight to JFK because of concerns about approaching weather. This was great but left us with about 8 hours to kill at JFK. We went directly to the international terminal which was an experience in and of itself. It was fascinating to watch the wide variety of people filtering through the international terminal. I may have been on U.S. soil, but in the international terminal I was a clear minority. For those traveling in the near future, I will warn you that dining options in the international terminal are pretty darn limited. Oh, and there is tons of seating and some small stores after security. I found the post-security area to be much more comfortable (and with more available plugs) than waiting with the rest of humanity in the main area... just eat dinner first.

The flight was long, as expected, but not too bad. The food was great (but don't expect any American style food), and the movie selection was good too. We arrived in Dubai on time and without any problems. It was a bit confusing to us to figure out where to go to get our hotel, but everyone was very helpful when we asked questions. We were taken to a nice hotel for the evening. We were given tickets for breakfast, dinner, and a snack, but I was too tired to do anything but sleep that night. Breakfast the next morning was quite good; I wish we'd gotten up a little bit earlier to enjoy it.

The Dubai airport is quite an experience as well. It is enormous, and everything in it is super-sized. Shopping there is pretty cheap as well, and there is a Starbucks if you have time to wait. Our flight out of Dubai was delayed over an hour, so we spent a good amount of time just sitting in our airplane waiting to go. Fortunately, you can still watch all the movies you like while you wait.

I think that getting the visa after the Emirates flight is much easier than with Ethiopian because it was pretty simple (just look for the little, tiny signs). After baggage claim, we met up with Travis and our driver. We were able to offload our humanitarian aid and one bag (Thank you, Travis) as we were leaving for Mekele the next morning.

That day was a holiday (one of 3 holidays during the 2 weeks that we were there), so most stores and museums were closed. We drove around town, just getting a feel for Addis Ababa and drove up Entoto Mountain. Be sure to do this if you have time and decent weather. Unfortunately, I lost these pictures too, but it is incredible! That night we went to an Ethiopian restaurant and had our first go at authentic Ethiopian food. Delicious! There are a handful of cultural norms to observe (ie: eat with your right hand and leave your left hand in your lap) which you can read about ahead of time in a guide book or just be a really good observer of those around you.

I know that everything is changing for those of you who are in process, but getting to experience a little bit of time in Ethiopia before getting your child(ren) is so worth it... even if it is only a day.

Coming out of the Cocoon

2010-03-17T18:50:00.000-04:00

In the world of international adoption, we are encouraged to form a sort of "cocoon" around our families for our first couple of weeks together. The reasoning behind this is to help our children form a sense of security with us as their family. Who would have thought that I would be the one that really needed that cocoon? We've been home for a week now, and I am just now feeling like I can catch my breath.

What a time of adjustment this has been for all 6 of us. I will write about our experience in Ethiopia in the near future, especially about our trip to Mekele for those of you who have asked about it. In short, I am so glad that we went early as we had a really wonderful time experiencing Ethiopia and the Ethiopian people. For the most part, we were welcomed with open arms with those we came in contact with. We learned so much more about ourselves as we learned about these amazing people whose lives are so very different from ours.

The boys have been with us for 2 weeks now, and we're all starting to get our bearings. The transition with the boys was much more difficult than I expected. I thought I had adequately prepared myself, but needless to say... I hadn't. Adopting older children is vastly different than adopting infants, and I think I failed to realize how different that would be. I have also had some adjustment to "boys". With Alyssa and Braeden, I've been very lucky to have very mellow, laid back children. Yeabi and Matt are not. This has been quite an adjustment for me as I'm learning how to raise boys as well as what is normal and not-so-normal boy behavior. Moms of boys, I could use your help here.

Language, of course, has been an issue for us. Yeabi knows much more English than I had expected, but so far it doesn't translate much into conversational language. This is a work in progress for all of us. The boys are making good progress, but it is a long road ahead for all of us.

Since being home, though, the boys are thriving and doing quite well. Most of the behavior issues are rapidly fading now that they are in a more calm and stable environment. The kids have bonded extremely well and seem to adore being with each other. Yeabi and Matt love to wait for Braeden's bus to bring him home from school, and the boys have formed quite the threesome. They have turned my 2 child stroller into a 3 child stroller and have amazing ways of working together to get into trouble. Hugs and kisses abound with them. Alyssa is working through the magical world of boys and seems to love having 2 more brothers to be in charge of. The first thing she does when she gets home from school is to find and hug all of her brothers.

I have piles of laundry that may never get done, and it seems like we are constantly doing dishes. Slowly but surely, though, we are finding our way into being a family. We are not a perfect family, but we are family. Perhaps, we will make this our motto!

... And we're off!

2010-02-24T09:45:00.000-05:00

The bags are packed. The arrangements are made. And we are ready to have our world changed forever! I am beyond excited today. We had a special breakfast (AKA: doughnuts) with the kids, and they have headed off to school. We are taking Alyssa out of school for a special lunch together, and then we will pick of Braeden from school to leave for the airport. It is just a matter of time before our family with finally be all together.

3 More Days!

2010-02-21T20:55:00.000-05:00

My boys finally have a room to call their own. I have managed to go through all the clothes and sort them into the drawers, organize the toys, and hang the pictures on the wall. Now, I just need those 2 little boys to make this room complete.

My favorite picture (mother with 2 boys). Purchased on our last trip to Walt Disney World (my proudest find).

These 2 sure are anxious to have their brothers in their new room.

However, this is the current state of my room in my feeble attempts to pack (complicated by the even more restrictive weight restrictions to go to Mekele).

4 More Days!

2010-02-20T15:06:00.000-05:00

So much to do... So little time! The suitcases have finally made their way up from the basement, and the piles are being sorted. We're getting very close now. I have 1 more shift at work (a night shift, no less), but I have the weekend off so I'm hoping to get a lot done this weekend.

So... here's where the list is now:

Finish the information book for my parents and my in-laws
Talk to Alyssa and Braeden's teachers about plans while we are gone
Get pictures put together for birth family meeting
Final loads of laundry prior to leaving
Grocery Shop to stock up house with food for while we are gone
Organize and collect all documents to take with us
Load and organize I-Pods
Finish decorating the boys' room
Clean the house
Finish organizing the basement
Take donations to Goodwill
Pack suitcases
Pack carry-ons
Put together schedule for babysitter
Medical release forms

It is finally starting to look do-able. I am so excited!

7 More Days!

2010-02-17T10:12:00.002-05:00

We are rapidly closing in on departure time! I am filled with excitement, nervous energy, and a little bit of anxiety. The result is that I am a bit of a whirling dervish!

I am requesting/begging suggestions, wisdom, and advice from those who have gone before. Specifically, I need advice from those who have adopted toddlers and preschool aged children. I have a feeling that adopting these ages pose very different challenges than those associated with infants, so I will take any wisdom I can get. If you know anybody who adopted that 2-6 age group, please send them my way.

I have a few specific questions, so help me out if you know.

*Do the toddlers drink out of regular cups or sippy cups?

*Are the boys potty trained sitting or standing up?

*Do I really need to bring lice treatment, or can I buy it there if necessary?

*Is it better to bring snacks or buy them there?

*How do you do meals while in Ethiopia with the children? Carry-out? Cook on your own?

*Any favorite snacks/treats that the kids seem to love?

*Any suggestions on things to bring to help make the transition easier?

*Sleeping suggestions? We have 2 full sized beds. Y is used to a bed, but M has been in a crib. Put them together? One with each of us? Put a bed on the floor?

*Emirates... do they have plugs in the seats for a DVD player?

Please, please, please... inundate me with advice. I'll take any words of wisdom I can get.

8 More Days!

2010-02-16T12:09:00.002-05:00

Well, we're getting there... slowly but surely. Many thanks to my hubbie who spent much of yesterday afternoon getting things on the list knocked out. For those of you who don't know, Mike is scheduled to finish his Master's degree this June. This quarter has been extremely busy for him, and missing 2 weeks of class has made that even more challenging. He has been working day and night to get all of his papers and projects done since he will be MIA for so long. He has to do a presentation for one class the day after we return from Ethiopia. Time for some caffeine! What this means is that all of the arrangements have come to me so that he could work on class stuff. Coming home at 1 this morning to find so many things checked off the list was such a relief. Thanks, Babe!

We remain buried under snow here in the Midwest. The kids were both off school today, so I haven't been particularly productive today. Oh, well, such is life!

Reminder... if you want to send a care package with me, let me know ASAP. I should have room in our bags for you. I can also take pictures for anyone who would like. I have a list of folks already, but I'm happy to get some more. You can either email me or leave me a message.

We are really getting close now!

9 More Days!

2010-02-15T13:26:00.004-05:00

It appears that I may be making this countdown in the snow. We are, once again, under a blanket of snow, and it continues to come down hard. If the kids were not off already for the holiday, this would certainly be a snow day for them. As it is, I suspect that they will be delayed significantly, if not canceled all together tomorrow.

Even being semi-snowed in, I only managed to get one thing checked off my list, although my family does have clean clothes to wear now. I will have the pleasure of going out in this disaster this afternoon as I do have to work tonight. It should be plenty busy with all the accidents this afternoon.

10 More Days!

2010-02-14T20:12:00.003-05:00

PANIC!!! The countdown has begun. I can't believe I'm down until just 10 more days until we leave. We are leaving early so that we can spend a little time enjoying Ethiopia and the area where the boys are originally from.

I was really disappointed early on when our travel date was set so far out (6 1/2 weeks, much longer than usual), but between the issue with my colleagues and trying to get everything done... I guess I'm OK with the longer wait.

I've been trying to get through all of the things on my "To Do" list, and I don't feel like I'm making much headway. Having the 2 here at home have certainly added a lot to my things to get done.

Here's where I'm at right now.

TO DO:
Book a hotel for our first night in Ethiopia
Find out where we are staying in Mekele
Finish the information book for my parents and my in-laws
Talk to Alyssa and Braeden's teachers about plans while we are gone
Get the boys added to my insurance policy
Get pictures put together for birth family meeting
Final loads of laundry prior to leaving
Grocery Shop to stock up house with food for while we are gone
Organize and collect all documents to take with us
Set up haircut prior to leaving
Arrange transportation back home from the airport
Finish shopping for boys (shoes, undies, shirts)
Load and organize I-Pods
Finish decorating the boys' room
Arrange transportation to get Alyssa to school in the mornings
Shop for Alyssa's friend's birthday party
Shop for books to read on trip
Clean the house
Finish organizing the basement
Take donations to Goodwill
Pack suitcases
Pack carry-ons
Make sure cameras have adequate memory
Arrange for dog care for the first night we are gone
Put together schedule for babysitter
Medical release forms
Get cash from the back
Call credit card companies to OK out of country expenses

Yeah! 10 days is enough time to get this all done, right?! I am seriously going to need some valium and some prilosec at this rate!

A Word of Thanks

2010-02-05T15:55:00.000-05:00

I want to take a moment to say "Thank you" for all the words of encouragement that so many of you have given. The past week has been tough as I've dealt with some less than supportive colleagues, but I feel like I'm through it and over it now. It's probably good to have that reminder that not everyone gets it, and I now know where my support really lies. So.... I'm good now. I'm counting down days until departure, and I'm starting to panic.

I've made my "To Do" list, and it is huge. I have my humanitarian aid packed, and I feel like the queen of the world. I am the ultimate bargain shopper, and buying things to give away was such a rush. I hit all of the sales (and really made out big with the end of season 75% off sale). My Kohl's 30% off coupon combined with the clearance rack meant that I was able to buy even more than I'd planned. My 75% off $5.oo duffle is packed to maximum capacity (although I haven't had the courage to weigh it yet).

Packing really is the smaller detail in all of this. Buying clothes for the boys, and getting everything arranged for the 2 we are leaving behind is really taking the bulk of time. I am almost done with the boys' room, and I have had so much fun decorating it! Now I just need to fill it up with clothes and toys, and we will be ready.

For those of you still waiting to travel and pick up your little ones, I am more than happy to take pictures and love on your little ones. I'm sure I can even squeeze some care packages in as well. Leave me your email address or email me at doctor.mom.mb@gmail.com

Less than 3 weeks, and we will be on our way! I may burst with joy and excitement!

The Good, the bad, and the ugly... a personal saga

2010-01-28T19:15:00.000-05:00

Anyone who adopts is bound to face a myriad of questions, praise and a little bit of criticism too. As a rule, I welcome questions, cower from praise, and get fired up by the criticism.

With Braeden, we always get a lot of questions. While I do think that sometimes people should think before they speak, I usually see questions as a great opportunity to educate someone who is at least open to new knowledge. Even ill-phrased questions I can usually handle gracefully. Our adoption has been much the same. If people want to know, it sure seems like a good opportunity to educate and bring awareness to adoption.

The praise has been really hard for me to handle, mostly because I don't feel like it is deserved. Statements like "You are doing such a great thing" or "Those boys sure are lucky to have you" are very uncomfortable for me. Quite frankly, I feel like I am the luckiest woman alive. They are bringing so much to me. They are fulfilling my heart's desires. They have turned my world upside down and are bringing some parts of my life full circle. I'm the lucky one. I'm still struggling to find the way to handle those undeserved words of praise.

The criticism and lack of support is really hard for me as well. Now, don't get me wrong, more than 95% of what we're told is very positive. I think most often, the criticism is in the non-verbal realm... people who walk away or demonstrate significant disinterest in the boys. I'm sure that much of the criticism and disapproval will come down the road. I am an overly sensitive soul, so criticism takes its toll on me.

I am so blessed to have a family and friends who have supported us faithfully throughout this process. Our boys have already been welcomed into a world that they know nothing about. The 2 preschools I've met with have welcomed them with open arms. I find myself reminding friends that we will need some time as everyone wants to welcome them personally as soon as possible.

This incredible support is probably why I was completely blindsided by the wave of irritation that came upon me today. I have been living on a cloud of bliss that adoption and motherhood rocks when I got the phone call from a co-worker today that blew up my world. Now, I proudly say, "This is my blog, so I can cry if I want to". As most of you know, I work full time, so when I received my court date with only 10 days notice I was a bit freaked out. Fortunately, the March schedule had not been released. The first email that went out was to my employer asking them to hold the schedule until Jan 14 when we would know if we passed court or not. On January 12, despite my pleas not to, they released the March schedule with me on it. When we passed court on January 14, I let them know that I would have to come off the March schedule. A bit inconvenient, but the group has covered women who had to go on maternity leave early, men who have been deployed overseas with little notice, and a myriad of miscellaneous issues. Boy was I shocked to find out today that there were several people who were angry at me for missing so many shifts. The fact that I had requested that the schedule be held did not matter. That phone call today has left me hurt and in tears. While I did send a message to the group explaining my position and thanking those who had helped, my soul still hurts.

So come on and say it, "Buck up, sister". No one ever said this process is easy, and no one ever said that tears wouldn't be shed. Perhaps it takes some tears to see the true character of others and to dig deep within yourself to find your own.

What's in a name?

2010-01-26T01:20:00.000-05:00

Before I go any further, I just have to show off my boys. I mean, really, are they cute or what? This was our most recent update photo from Gladney, and it tells more about their personalities than anything else could.

On to my topic for the day... names. This may be one of the more discussed and debated areas in international adoption. Do you keep your child's birth name or give them one yourselves. This was something Mike and I had discussed very early on in our adoption process. I hoped for a name that would easily transition to a more "Americanized" name... Emmanuel, Sophia, David. I wanted to keep that Ethiopian heritage but also ensure that they had a name that would not stand out in the classroom.

We also knew that if we had an older child, we would really try to preserve their Ethiopian name, and if it was an infant then we would have more flexibility.

It's funny, though, once we were introduced to Yeabsera and Matusala (their birth names) all that went out the window. In our minds, those were their names. When I tried to morph those names, I just couldn't. Those were their names when I first saw them, and those were the names that I identified with their personalities. So... those are their names.

I also recognize that things change. Perhaps when they are in my arms, I will have a different perspective. But for now, they are Yeabi and Matu.

Alyssa and Braeden have middle names for Mike's and my favorite musical artists... Alyssa Marley (Bob Marley for Mike) and Braeden Armstrong (Louis Armstrong for me). Try as I might, I couldn't come up with artists that sounded right. We then decided that by keeping the boys' first names, we kept that connection to their Ethiopian heritage. We chose to give them middle names that come from our family as they truly become a part of our family.

Yeabsera Michael will keep the name his birth mother gave to him, and he will share his name with his father.

Matusala Jon will also keep the name his birth mother gave to him. He is named after my brother and my grandfather.

Whatever they choose to call themselves when they get older, I'm so glad that they will have a bit of each family in their names.

WE ARE A FAMILY OF 6!

2010-01-14T01:04:00.000-05:00

I am 9 Months Pregnant

2010-01-13T15:48:00.002-05:00

Figuratively, that is. I remember coming to the end of my pregnancies with Alyssa and Braeden, and it sure felt a lot like this. After 9 months of vomiting and growing to the size of a circus tent, I was ready. Which day would it be? I would hope and pray that it wouldn't be the dreaded "past dates" pregnancy. Along with "large for gestational age" and "advanced maternal age", "past dates" is just a cruel word for a pregnant woman.

Much the same, I am so ready for this to be over and official and for those boys to be mine. Much like pregnancies, there is nothing I can do but wait. I cannot will the courts to be open and the power to be on any more than I could walk those babies out of me (and believe me I tried). And let me tell you, I do not want to go "past dates" on this one either.

Unfortunately, I will not drop 15 pounds in one day and wear clothes that I haven't worn in 6 months nor (to the chagrin of my husband) will my breasts grow 2 sizes, but I'm sure hoping that by tomorrow I will have that ecstatic glow of a new mother.

Oh What a Week!

2010-01-11T14:00:00.001-05:00

What a week this past week has been! It may be the longest week of my life, and I expect that the next 3 days will be even longer. I apologize to all of my friends who have emailed me, left messages on facebook, or called. I feel like I have rolled into a cocoon in preparation for Thursday, so my true introverted nature is coming out.

However, life does continue on, and this past week has been a busy one. Work has, of course, been extremely busy (this time of year always is). Home has been even busier.

Monday brought return of Alyssa and Braeden to school. After his extended leave for our vacation and then his tonsils, Braeden took a bit of time to readjust. Monday afternoon brought extra exciting news with the call from Gladney with our court date a mere 10 days away. I had the privilege of sharing this day with 2 other pretty amazing families. Tam and Matt passed court and are officially the parents of a very sweet little girl, and Heidi and Mark receive their referral of 2 little boys after an incredibly long wait. Congrats all the way around.

Tuesday we sent Mike back to school and work after a very nice 5 week break. I forgot how hard it is to get back into the rhythm of our lives again.

Wednesday, I got to watch Alyssa enjoy ice skating through her school. She sure has come a long way since she first glided onto the ice last year. Miraculously, she now spends more time upright than on the ice itself. Afterwards, we had a bit of a scare to watch her riding partner take her first fall off her horse during their horseback riding lesson. Fortunately, outside of being a bit shaken up, there were no major injuries. However, it was a nice reminder to the girls to respect their horses and their riding.

Thursday we celebrated Ganna, Ethiopian Christmas. As a special gift, UPS stopped by that morning with the boys' Christmas stockings. I had ordered stockings to match the rest of the family after Christmas (had to get the sale) and had them personalized (sorry, only allowed to show a little sample here). Mike cooked up a fabulous Ethiopian dish and injera for us, and we trust that the boys were able to celebrate the holiday in traditional Ethiopian fashion. We look forward to celebrating as a family next year with the boys.

Thursday and Friday, the big storm hit. Both of the kids dodged school these days as they were both canceled due to inclement weather. Alyssa turned into a human Popsicle as she and the neighbor children went sledding and created forts in the snow. Even Braeden ventured out in his new snowboots to check out our winter wonderland.

Saturday was Alyssa's last game of this session of indoor soccer, and she finished in stellar fashion. She put one into the back of the net for her team, and they enjoyed finishing with a win. She has signed up again for next session, so we will continue to enjoy the parental psychosis that goes hand in hand with indoor soccer.

We are rapidly approaching our court date, and I am approaching it with guarded optimism. It is incredibly overwhelming and exciting all at the same time. We know that so many things must go right for Thursday to be successful, but I am holding out great hope that this will be the day that we become a family of 6!

Happy New Year, Part 2

2010-01-04T21:17:00.003-05:00

That is the number of the day, folks. Why? Because that is the number of days until we have court. Surprised, thrilled, and stunned barely begin to describe my feelings when Mike texted me with the date. No doubt all of the other grocery shoppers were dumbfounded by the crazy lady in the ketchup aisle hyperventilating. It's OK, it's all good; I've found my "inner type B personality" (see the last post for that one). Well, sort of.

We were also so lucky to get an update on our sweet boys today. Sounds like they are thriving and doing well. Y was hugging and kissing the picture we sent in a care package last month. Can't wait to bring those boys home.

Hopes and prayers for sanity, serenity, and sweet happiness over the next 10 days are much appreciated.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-04T14:25:00.003-05:00

I feel a bit overwhelmed as we've closed out 2009 and entered into 2010. What an incredible year 2009 was for our family.

A year ago I made 4 New Year's Resolutions.
1. Start a blog.... Got that one done. I can't say that I'm always great about keeping up, but I try.
2. Get a new job... Done. One of the best decisions I've made in years. Don't love the work, but am so happy with the new work environment.
3. Expand our family... Check. Well, my end of the work is done.
4. Start running. Started this one and will try to continue into 2010.

It's rather hard to live up to 4/4 last year. I am going to try to run a road race this year (5 or 10K. It will be a long time before I'm long distance ready). The others this year are a bit more personal, so I'll try to expand on those as the year goes along. I've found that as a full time doctor, mother of 2 (soon to be 4), and wife that being stressed out seems to be my constant state of being. I'm still shooting to cut my hours back as soon as we can afford to, but until then I'm trying to find my "inner Type B personality".

We rang in the New Year at home this year. As I was on call New Year's Day, going out was not in the cards, so we let Alyssa have a friend spend the night. Let me just tell you, it is so much fun having a 7 year old. Apparently, kissing is now very gross. Needless to say, Mike got lots of kisses just so that I could make the girls squeal! See... parenthood rocks!

Alyssa had a special New Year's Day because I took her to get her ears pierced. She is thoroughly enjoying being "grown up" now. Unfortunately, she wouldn't leave her ears alone the next day during her soccer game. All of my yelling that game was telling her to leave her ears alone. Despite that, they enjoyed a very sweet win.

BEFORE

AFTER

Wishing you all a great New Year. Special thoughts go out to my friends in the adoption world as we anxiously wait to bring our little ones home. Happy New Year!

Top Ten Tuesday

2009-12-29T17:20:00.000-05:00

Christmas is, without question, my favorite holiday. While I sometimes feel overwhelmed and exhausted by all the activity that surrounds us at Christmas, when I get those moments to slow down I am reminded that Christmas does represent those things that are most important to me. Part of what makes Christmas so special for me are the traditions that my family has established for the Christmas season. It is not about gifts and pageantry but about family and a chance to reflect on the birth of our Lord. It certainly can be challenging to teach this to our children who are surrounded by images of gifts galore, but through our little family traditions I hope to maintain our focus.

My Top 10 Favorite Christmas Traditions

10. Creating a Gingerbread House
Some years this is a successful ventures and others not so much.

9. Christmas in Historic Springboro.
Our town has a celebration downtown with shopping, shows, rides, and fun for the family.

8. Baking and Decorating Cookies
This often gets delegated to Mike and Alyssa as I tend to yell at the dough too much.

7. Decorating the House for Christmas
The Christmas music comes on and the boxes come up from the basement... we now know that Christmas is upon us.

6. Out to Dinner at the Golden Lamb
Everyone gets dressed up in their Christmas finest for a dinner at the oldest Inn in Ohio.

5. Visit to Santa
For the first time this year, there were no tears.

4. Dutch Christmas
My father is from the Netherlands, so getting to celebrate Christmas with Sinterklaas is something special for me.

3. Jesus Cake
This is a tradition that my mother started, and our kids still love today. We bake a cake and decorate it with the nativity. We then sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus.

2. Christmas Eve
This is a fun family day for me. Alyssa tracks Santa on Norad. 1 present for the kids on Christmas eve. Then we close out the night as we read "The Night before Christmas" and the Christmas story as a family. Then to bed in matching Christmas pj's... getting 4 matching pj's may be a challenge next year.

1. Christmas Day
The stockings and gifts are opened by excited children and sleepy parents. We set the rule that Alyssa couldn't come down until 7:30, and she had to come down with her brother. I was awakened at 5:30 when Alyssa got Braeden up, put on her Christmas music, and brought him into her room to wait. Uggh.
We also make mimosas for Mommy and Daddy and Mickey Mouse Waffles to be had by all.

Top Ten Tuesday

2009-12-22T14:00:00.000-05:00

If you've read my blog much, you know that I love Disney. Arguably, going to Disney is as much for me as it is for the kids. I love that time to just get away and be a family. Now, I can't say that this vacation is all that relaxing because it is "Go, Go, Go", but for me nothing beats a Disney vacation for a family vacation. I can't begin to put into words all the special little moments that we enjoyed, so my pictures will speak for me. We are hoping this is our last Disney trip without the boys. Alyssa and I had so much fun talking about them. "Y will ride with me on this next time, and M and Braeden can ride with you and Daddy." "Yes, sweetheart, I certainly hope so".

My Top 10 Disney Moments

10. Celebrating the Holidays at Epcot.

Alyssa in Italy with La Befana

9. Visiting with Characters

8. Alyssa and the annual Mickey Mouse Ice Cream Bar. We've have this same picture since she was 2... chocolate and ice cream smeared all over her face

7. Braeden becoming quite a big boy.
6. Everyone's favorite... the cars. Mike even let Alyssa drive this year. Not sure he will ever do that again. It looks like mom will have to do driver's training for her.
5. Dumbo

4. Special surprises. In case you had any confusion that I might be one of those "cool moms", I'm not. But Alyssa loved the "matchy outfit" surprises that I had for them. Thank goodness Mike is so laid back; he just smiles at me.

3. Family time. Disney gives us that chance to get away from all our chaos and responsibilities to just focus on being a family. What a great time for the kids to be kids and the parents to get a chance to be funny too.

2. The first time Braeden saw Pooh Bear I thought he would cry, he was so happy. At the character lunch with Pooh he kept fussing, and I couldn't figure out what he wanted. After much prompting he said, "I want hug Pooh". Oh, my sweet boy!
1. My sweet girl brought me to tears on our way into the Magic Kingdom. They sprinkled her with fairy dust and told her to make a magic wish. Her wish.... "I want the boys to come home". Oh, my heart, sweet girl.

Oh the Pain... Tonsils and Adenoids and Shots, Oh My!

2009-12-21T17:30:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned before, it has been very busy around here the last few weeks. Remember this picture?

Braeden's awesome sleep study. It took forever to get it read, but after some reminder phone calls we got the news. He failed. While I was sitting at the pool at Disney, my phone rang. They gave me the news and recommended that tonsils and adenoids be removed. The next day we were able to schedule it- for 5 days later. I know. That was quick. Not exactly planned, but we make do.

Unfortunately, there wasn't exactly a lot of prep that we could do for Braeden to mentally prepare him. However, he has done reasonably well so far. We continue to fight with him to take his medicine and drink, but he's getting there.

Because of the sleep apnea, he did have to spend the night in the hospital. I had the pleasure of rotating between sleeping in his semi-upright bed with him and the pullout chair-bed. Ahhh... sleepless nights. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is parenthood!

Little man in his pre-op suite.

Ready to go home. Hmm... looks like a little too much Tylenol with Codeine.

Mike and I did make it to the travel clinic to get our immunizations. 5 for me, and 4 for Mike. You know, I really thought that I'd have less, working in the medical field and all. That right shoulder is still a little sore. Braeden and Alyssa got their Hep A shots today. Alyssa was great about her painful sacrifice for her new brothers. That's my girl.

In the meantime, we continue to wait for a court date. We received our first official update from Gladney, and the boys continue to grow and do well. Special thanks to Cassandra and Rahel who took pictures for us on their recent trips to pick up their girls. I am more in love with these boys each and every day, and I know that each day brings me one closer to finally holding them in my arms.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

2009-12-20T13:19:00.004-05:00

It has certainly been a busy 2 weeks since my last post. In those 2 weeks, we've managed to make our annual pilgrimage to Walt Disney World, spend the night in the hospital for tonsils and adenoids surgery, get our first snow of the year, receive our first update on the boys, and continue to anxiously wait for our court date. Over the next few days I will try to get some of these updates in... it has been a very busy couple of weeks.

We awoke to our first snow yesterday morning, and Alyssa was able to go out and make her first snowman of the year. She spent a little too much time outside and had some mild frostnip when she got it. As is our tradition, I made cookies, and we had cookies and hot chocolate to celebrate the first snow of the year. Unlike our friends on the East coast, we had a mild, very wet dusting of snow. It was enough to be pretty but not make for hazardous driving. Most of it has melted now, but I have no doubt there will be more to come (hopefully not when I am working).

All bunded up and ready to go.

A snowman with a carrot for his nose and Tootsie-Pops for eyes.

In a Year's Time

2009-12-05T10:46:00.000-05:00

Since our referral it feels like my life has been going 90 miles an hour. So much to do.... Add to that the myriad of emotions and thoughts flying through my head right now, and what you get is an overwhelming absence of blogging. I rarely find myself at a loss for words (obviously), but in the last 2 weeks I find myself so overwhelmed that it's hard to put into words the way that I'm feeling.

I have fallen madly in love with 2 little boys who I've never even met but am desperate to bring home. I worried that it might be harder to attach to an older child. Perhaps it would be if we didn't have all of the information that Gladney has provided. The information that we have received about the boys is amazing. I am already learning about their personalities, their likes and dislikes, and daily routine. In my heart, these are my boys.

The week before Thanksgiving (ironically, the week we received our referral) was a very emotional week for me because it is really where this adoption first grew roots.

This is us one year before our referral...

Yep, that's DisneyWorld. Who knew that Disney would be the starting block of our adoption? It was while on that trip last year that I knew for sure that our family was not yet complete. It was there that I realized that I wanted more children, and that adoption was going to be our path. It was right after that trip that I started investigating and brought it up to Mike... all in one year's time.

I am amazed on the journey that this last year has taken us. We still have a long way to go, and this stage of waiting to get a court date and pass is really hard. However, the excitement of beginning our journey as a family of 6 is incredible. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with 3 boys, but I do know that I can't wait.

Fast forward to next year... I hope and pray that we will be one happy (and sometimes crazy) great big family. Here's to hope!

How It All Went Down

2009-11-20T15:00:00.002-05:00

Well, here's the story of November 18, 2009.

Since I worked last weekend, I had this day off. It started like most others. Mike went to work, and I take the kids to school. Unfortunately, I forgot that Braeden had a delayed start. So my trip to the gym was delayed, and Braeden got to watch a movie. I nearly missed the bus because I was watching the movies on Sara's blog when her son came home. So I had to take Braeden out to the bus with teary eyes and a very curious bus driver. It appeared that it was going to be one of those days.

I promised Alyssa to take her to her horseback riding lesson, so the babysitter came at 2 to watch Braeden. Just enough time for me to run to Starbucks, grab a coffee, and set up some appointments (international vaccination clinic, doctor for Mike, Christmas dinner).

2:23 PM. I had just set up my laptop at Starbuck's when my phone rang.... that 817- number. Nah, not yet. Must be a question.

"Hello?"
"Hi, Maribeth, this is Sara from Gladney."
"Oh, Hi, Sara. What's up?" (I know, who talks like this).
"Well, I'm calling because I have your referral".
(Dead space) Me thinking... uh, oh, now what? How am I going to make this work? I can't possibly wait until tomorrow or I'll erode my stomach ulcer.
"Uh, sorry, can I call you right back? I need to call Mike and see if we can do this right away, and I'll drive up to his work."

Now, the not-so-awesome part of this is that Mike has his final exam at 5:15. Not really sure that he's going to be able to focus on his exam, but... well, I just couldn't wait. I have to go home and drop off Alyssa's riding helmet and boots and beg the babysitter to take her (thank goodness, the babysitter is awesome!). I think that that was probably the longest drive of my life. In my head are questions of what we will be referred... will it be a boy? a girl? siblings? how many? how old?

When I finally got to Mike's office, I had enough sense to grab a handful of Kleenex and, with shaking hands, walk into his office. There we called Sara back and got our first looks at these most beautiful boys. We reviewed their history and information, and I fell in love. It still seems a bit surreal and overwhelming. They are healthy, happy, and just incredible. I am amazed at all of the information we have about the boys... their personalities, their likes, their dislikes. I feel like I already know them.

I did have to wait until Mike got home from his final (he did, miraculously manage to get through it) to tell Alyssa. What a joy that was! She squealed in delight. It was such a joy to watch her dance around the house, declaring all the things that she would teach her brothers and do with her brothers. She has since told everyone that she can about her new brothers. She has written them letters and drawn pictures for them. She truly can't wait to finally see them.

Surprisingly, I didn't cry at all during that phone call (stunning, since I cry at anything). It wasn't until my drive home that the waterworks of joy started. I have been quite emotional since that phone call.

As we look back over the past 6 months, I think this is exactly what we planned for. I remember the day we were placed on the wait list. I went for a run that afternoon, and I very distinctly remember wondering about our referral. In my mind's eye, I remember seeing two little boys, about 2 and 4 with short curly hair and thinking that was our family. Over the months, as we've climbed the list closer to being referred a single infant (most likely boy), my thoughts have gone that way. Mike, however, has remained convinced that we would be matched with 2 children. Funny how these things work out!

Thanks to everyone who has stopped by with congratulations! Thanks especially to those who have offered to take packages to the boys. We are excited to start sending a little bit of love their way!

It's A......

2009-11-19T09:25:00.000-05:00

Boy!

And A

Boy!

Words cannot begin to express our excitement today. Yesterday we received our referral for two extraordinarily handsome little boys! They are 2 and 4 years old, and I am already in love with them. Having spent most of last night learning about them, I think they will fit right in with our crazy family. The oldest already loves soccer, so I think he will do just fine with our soccer devoted lifestyle.

Last night we celebrated...

We Danced...

We Ate (special treats for the kids)...

We Drank (extra special treats for Mom and Dad)...

We Laughed...

We Cried (OK, I did)...

I got to put the kids in their special PJ's. I bought these with the hope that we would get our referral while it was still the right season for these... Braeden will get to be a big (but smaller) brother.

This is when we took Alyssa in to show the pictures and tell her the good news. I think this says it all.

I will try to get in the "how it all went down" story either tonight or tomorrow.

Top Ten Wednesday???

2009-11-18T18:45:00.001-05:00

Top Ten Things to do on a Wednesday Afternoon

10. Go to Starbucks and enjoy a vanilla latte (now with a new and improved higher price tag).

9. Enjoy the latest Patricia Cornwell novel.

8. Finish the last 2 loads of laundry.

7. Organize the Thanksgiving Day menu.

6. Try to figure out when you can see that new "Twilight" movie.

5. Check and see who got kicked off "Dancing With the Stars" last night.

4. Stalk R's blog until you see that they passed court (congratulations!)

3. Wonder and obsess when you will get "the call".

2. Research cars to see which one will fit all of the kids and the dog.

1. Get THE CALL from Sara at Gladney with your referral!

Yes, it happened!! We are ecstatic and overjoyed and overwhelmed and feel blessed beyond measure! Details tomorrow.... tonight we celebrate!

Top 10 Tuesday

2009-11-17T20:45:00.001-05:00

I have spent the last 10 years of my life devoting my career to taking care of people in the emergency room. Rest assured, it is not at all like "ER". While there are moments of adrenaline filled action, much of my time is spent taking care of rather routine conditions and dealing with psychosocial issues.

As we come into winter months, the volume in the Emergency Department will begin to pick up. For those of you who are new parents, there is a good chance that you will darken the door of an Emergency Room at some point in the next 18 years. This is my "insider's list" of ways to survive an ER visit and get as much out of your visit as possible.

Top Ten Ways to Survive a Visit to the Emergency Room

10. Keep Visitors to a Minimum.
I've never understood why people feel like they all need to come to see their friend, neighbor, cousin in the ER. And why would anyone bring a newborn to see Grandma who has pneumonia? Let's think about this, folks. The ER is for SICK people.

9. Call Your Doctor First.
This is one simple way to avoid an ER visit altogether. Many doctors will be able to give you advice or get you into the office within 48 hours, saving you that hefty co-pay.

8. Use an Ambulance for a True Emergency Only.
It is amazing the number of people who use 911 as a transportation service. A toothache or a sprained ankle does not generally mandate an ambulance. A little common sense goes a long way.

7. Bring Things to Do.
Your ER stay will be much longer than you like. Unless it is a very minor problem, it is very rare to get in and out of the ER in less than an hour. If it's abdominal pain, plan on 3-4 hours. Bring a book, a magazine, a newspaper and you will make your life much easier.

6. Bring a List of all of your Medical Problems and Medicines.
I do not know the name of "that little red pill".

5. Use Cell Phone Etiquette.
Many hospitals now allow you to use your cell phone, but courtesy has not gone out of style. When your doctor or nurse walks in, hang up. And please do not text when I am trying to talk to you.

4. Do Not Make Assumptions based on Gender; Men can be Nurses, and Women can be Doctors.
Just because I am female does not mean that I am the nurse. I wear my white coat and introduce myself as doctor because that is my job. It is very frustrating when I go through obtaining all the information and doing the exam just to have the patient call the respiratory therapist their doctor because he is male.

3. Ask Questions.
Please don't be afraid to ask questions. Most doctors don't mind questions because we generally want to help you understand. I encourage my patients to write their questions on a paper so that they can ask me all of their questions when I come back. However, remember to be respectful when asking questions and ask them all at one time. I generally do not have time to come back 3 different times to answer "one more question".

2. Accept the Answer.
When someone comes to us, they generally want our professional opinion. However, on occasion people want something that is not reasonable or are convinced that there is something wrong despite evidence that there is not. If I say "No" to antibiotics or to pain pills, please don't spend the next 15 minutes arguing with me.

1. Treat your Nurse Well.
Your nurse can make or break your experience. This is one thing I constantly try to teach my students and residents. I am amazed at the number of people who are abusive to their nurses and are angelic with me. The nurse is the conduit to the doctor. If they are on your side, you will do well. Treat them poorly, and your experience will not be good.

May you never need these words of wisdom, but if you do... perhaps the next ER visit will go a little bit more smoothly.

Adoption Update

2009-11-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

What's going on with the adoption? When will you have your child(ren)? Have you heard anything yet?

These are questions that I'm frequently asked, so I want to take just a minute to give an update on what's happening and what will likely happen over the next several months. For my fellow adoptive parents, I know this is old news for you, but for those of you outside the world of adoption, I hope this will give some answers to all the questions (asked and unasked).

We have now been waiting for just over 6 months. The last I heard, current wait times were still listed as 8 months... sometimes more, sometimes less. So, hopefully we will hear at some point in the next couple of months. We have slowly but surely been climbing up the unofficial list of waiting families, and we are in now in the top 10 waiting.

The day that we receive that ever-so anticipated phone call, we are give our "referral". At that time, we are introduced to our child(ren). We are given any known personal or medical history as well as photos. Bummer... we cannot post those pictures, so the mystery remains. Once we choose to accept our referral, we then wait for our court date.

At the time of our court date, I will surely develop an ulcer as we wait to hear if we passed. If we pass, we will then travel to Ethiopia to meet our child(ren). If we don't pass, we will wait for another court date.

We still do not know if we will have one child or siblings, nor do we know age or gender. I love the mystery! I did not find out about Alyssa or Braeden until they were born, and there is something so sweet to me about the anticipation of finding out. My guess is that it will be one child as we are very close to the top of the list of families waiting for a single child. Mike is still holding out hope for siblings. However, that is well beyond our control... again, I love the mystery!

When we do hear some news, we will be sure to let everyone know ASAP. Until then, we wait... some days patiently, some days anxiously. One thing I do know... the time is coming soon!

Until then.... We Wait!

Six Months

2009-11-13T18:00:00.000-05:00

Six Months down.... ??? to go. I really feel like the time on the waiting list has just flown by. Granted, we have been extraordinarily busy. Between work and myriads of activities for the kids there are weeks that I feel like I can't keep up with life. I'm grateful for those weeks because otherwise I think I might go insane obsessing about the wait (don't worry... I still have days where I have time to obsess). I must confess, though, I think the next bit of time will go by much more slowly. Why? Because I know we're so close to seeing our child for the first time. The holidays are coming, so I'm hoping that busyness will keep me grounded.

I had that moment today for the first time that I've read about so many others having. I was in the middle of cooking, and my phone started ringing. Normally, I'd just let it go and call them back. Not today. I put my cooking down (risking some very burned and unpleasant food) and ran to my phone. Drat! Just my husband! If I get this anxious every time my cell phone rings for the next 2 months, the time will certainly pass slowly.

As I have every month for the last 6 months, I have my book review for the month. This one is a hard one for me because I didn't like this book at all. Now, don't get me wrong. This book was definitely the most beneficial to me of all the books on adoption that I've read. I also think that this is a "must read" for any parents who choose to adopt a child of a different race. However, it certainly took me on a roller coaster of emotions.

The author recounts his own story of being a black child adopted by white parents in the late 60's. The writing is absolutely beautiful and at times gut wrenching. It is a clear reminder that even when you do your best as an adoptive parent, sometimes your best isn't exactly what a child needs. It's easy to think that your love and your own acceptance of your child's race will be enough. However, as adoptive parents we are also responsible to ensure that our child(ren) have a healthy sense of their race and culture. At times this seems easy as teaching them my own beliefs about race seems very natural. However, at times it seems daunting as I recognize that not all of the world around us shares my views.

This book is written to adoptive families, and it successfully makes you question your own biases, beliefs, and child rearing philosophy. All adoptive parents should read this book.

Top Ten Tuesday

2009-11-10T18:30:00.000-05:00

The days of fall are fast coming to an end. With the time change, it's dark before I even start to get dinner ready. If the cars aren't in the garage, they are often coated with a layer of frost by morning. It's only a matter of time before we will see those first flakes of snow drifting down. The stores are already in full Christmas mode, and Alyssa is begging me to put up our Christmas decorations. It often feels like fall is such a short season here. Over the years, though, we've developed a few family traditions to celebrate the changing of the seasons.

My Top 10 Fall Activities

10. The Corn Maze Admittedly, Mike is not a fan of this activity because we spend more time running in circles getting lost than actually getting to the end. I love the idea of getting lost in a great big huge corn field.

9. Ready the House for Winter The garage must be cleaned out of the myriads of toys to make room for the cars. The down blankets come out of the closet. The fireplace is checked and cleaned. Winter is coming.

8. Baking Pumpkin Seeds I remember my mom doing this with us when I was a kid, and I will occasionally do this with Alyssa as well. Although I am convinced that there is more eating of the salt than the seeds themselves.

7. Afternoon Walks As we know, the time for comfortable outdoor walks is coming to an end. I love to lace up my sneakers, put on a light jacket, and head out with Mike or Alyssa to enjoy a nice walk.

6. Homemade Apple Pie There is nothing like making your own apple pie from apples picked up at the farmer's market. Now, I don't do this very often as no one other than the dog and I will eat my pie, but oh.... is it good.

5. Picking out Pumpkins Now this can be quite an ordeal as Alyssa must have the perfect pumpkin. We like to pick out a handful of pumpkins in a variety of sizes. They are great to carve or as decorations for the porch as well.

4. Trick or Treat I have so much fun picking out costumes and putting them together with the kids. It's such a joy to watch them combing the neighborhood, practicing their good manners, and having a great time.

3. Watching the Leaves Change Color I find the beauty of the changing leaves absolutely incredible. Whether it's on a long walk, a bike ride, or a drive in the car, it's beautiful to see the change of the seasons in the foliage around us.

2. Carving Pumpkins I don't know why this is such an enjoyable activity other than it's one that we've shared for years. It's fun creating our funny pumpkins. I'm not the most artistically gifted, but I try my best.

1. The "Haunted" Hayride It's not really all that haunted, but it does go through the woods, into the mud and down some steep hills. We always have a good time at this.

Happy Autumn, my friends. Winter is just around the corner.

Braeden's Sleep (less) Study

2009-11-09T16:45:00.000-05:00

Saturday night, I was lucky enough to be Braeden's designated parent to spend the night at the hospital with him. It was time for his sleep study. Much like most children with Down Syndrome, Braeden has very small air passages. His tonsils are so huge I sometimes wonder how there is any room to get air back there. His ENT has been recommending it for a while, and I finally agreed to give it a shot.

This was a make-up session since we had to cancel his first appointment since he was sick. Poor guy had no idea what was coming. Braeden has a strong aversion to anything touching him above the neck. Like most most small children, he doesn't like the hospital wrist/ankle band or monitors on his hands or feet, but he really hates anything on his head. He won't wear a hat, sunglasses, headphones, or anything that touches his head or face. Needless to say, getting all the probes on him was quite a challenge. He ended up with arm boards to keep him from pulling everything out.

BEFORE

AFTER

Finally, we got everything on and got him to sleep. However, getting any sleep for mommy was not going to happen. I knew I would be sleeping on one of the hard, vinyl chair-couches. I did not expect that they would come into his room at least twice an hour to readjust his leads and probes. Ugghh!!! I'm not a heavy sleeper, so I woke up for every visit. And more often than not, I had to get out of my chair-bed to help. Nothing like waking up in a weird place to some weird person playing with those annoying probes on your head!

Well, we survived. Mommy is a bit sleep-deprived and cranky, but Braeden is as good as ever. Now we wait another 2 weeks to hear the results. And if they even recommend repeating the study, I will certainly scream!

Happy (Belated) Halloween

2009-11-05T13:20:00.000-05:00

So, I'm a bit late on our Happy Halloween post. What can I say... we were just having too much fun. We've been so busy this fall that we really didn't have as much time as I'd like for fun fall activities, but we did make it over to the pumpkin patch (among some very rotted pumpkins) to pick out some pumpkins to carve and get in our annual family hayride. Braeden even stayed awake this year (I think he was too terrified to go to sleep)

We started strong...

but Braeden was a bit scared before long.

We finally found some time to carve our pumpkin... one of Alyssa's favorite traditions. Fortunately she's old enough now to scoop out the nasty inside, and I'm just in charge of the actual carving.
And, finally, the big day itself... Halloween. Alyssa was a leopard (pink, of course). Braeden was a monkey (although a mostly headless monkey as he wouldn't keep the headpiece on). I was a witch (appropriate???). Mike was a very thin Ziggy Schmidt, scarf and all (that one is for all of my fellow soccer lovers).

Now you see why he wouldn't keep the headpiece on... no eyes!

I just love the padded bum on this costume.

Top 10 Tuesday

2009-11-03T20:55:00.001-05:00

Ever had that moment where you thought, "I wish I would have bought stock in ________"? We've all thought that about Microsoft and Mac, but around here, I tend to think about other things.

Top Ten Things I Wish I would have bought Stock In

10. Nintendo DS I am not a big gamer, but this was a godsend on our trip to Italy. I have observed grown men playing their daughters' pink DS.

9. Facebook OK. The whole world really is doing this, and I am clearly the last to join. I am a bit dumbfounded on how many people really are out there.

8. Verizon Wireless My family alone is keeping Verizon in business. We break phones like no one else. I broke my phone last week when I dropped it on the ground (for the 50th time).

7. Pedialyte Winter stomach illness is on its way, and we will begin recommending pedialyte to everyone. But, have you ever tasted it? Yuck!

6. Hand Sanitizer In light of the H1N1 panic, sanitizer is everywhere. In my work, we've always been obsessed with it, but now you can find it anywhere and everywhere.

5. Target I'm a bit addicted. I go to Target at least twice a week, and it is my favorite destination for retail therapy as a method of stress reduction.

4. Tamiflu This is the "treatment" for the flu. With the panic of the H1N1 outbreak, this is a luxury hard to find. People are demanding it, and I've even watched some people trying to stockpile it "just in case".

3. Children's Motrin I think we've gone through 3 bottles of motrin at our house in the last 2 months. This may be a long winter.

2. The H1N1 Vaccine We finally have it here, but it's a bit too late for many of our families. People are arriving at designated vaccination centers by the hundreds.

1. Huggies Diapers I think I may be using diapers for the next millenium. I realized the other day that with a brief hiatus of 3 months, we have been using diapers for the last 7+ years. With a new one on the way and Braeden nowhere near potty trained, I'm going for at least another 2 or 3 years!

What about you? Any others?

Top Ten Tuesday

2009-10-27T10:40:00.001-04:00

I will close out National Down Syndrome Month with one more moment to celebrate the life that we have thanks to my son. Earlier this month I did a Top Ten on the things I've learned from my son, and I feel like my learning is non-stop with him.

My initial response to Braeden's diagnosis was absolute devastation and despair. 4 1/2 years later, it looks a lot more like acceptance and joy in all the things we do have with him. It's so easy to have a negative outlook on children with disabilities; it's not what most of us would want. I still hear "I'm so sorry for you" or "Life dealt you a bad hand". In truth, though, life with Braeden is always interesting, usually fun, and most of the time I wouldn't trade it (don't worry... that goes for both kids. We've threatened to sell Alyssa on Ebay). So, no pity or sob stories; I choose to celebrate the greatness of life with Down Syndrome.

Top Ten Best Things about Down Syndrome

10. People with Down Syndrome are Sincere
One of my friends recently told me this, and I couldn't agree more. The joy is sincere, the anger is sincere, the sadness is sincere. There are no pretences or attempts to deceive; what you see is what you get.

9. There is plenty of time to watch and relish in each milestone
With most kids, everything happens so quickly in the first year. With children with Down Syndrome, things take so much longer, so you get to enjoy each and every step along the way.

8. Automatic Admission into "The Club"
As parents of children with Down Syndrome, we recognize that each of our children is different, and our paths in life are equally different. But there are some very strong similarities. We all remember the first weeks and months after receiving the diagnosis, and we share many similar battles and struggles. There are even key questions... "How is your child's health?" "Does he have any heart problems?". It's the insider's questions that welcome you into the club.

7. Fun Party Tricks
Braeden has low tone and is hypermobile, so he can squeeze into odd positions. He often sleeps folded in half. Seriously... it's amazing what he can do.

6. I've met the Most Amazing People
I never dreamed I would meet some of the awesome people I've met along this journey. I've seen strength of character that puts me to shame. I've seen a mother's love for a child that would amaze the greatest cynic.

5. The Effect on Siblings
I remember crying over all the losses Alyssa would suffer and how unfair it would be to expect her to take care of her brother. However, I am amazed at how having a sibling with a disability really brings out amazing things in their brothers and sisters. She has learned compassion and acceptance, and I have no doubt she would defend her brother with everything in her. While my friends deal with siblings who fight and argue, I have to keep them away from each other while in the time out chair because they won't stop comforting each other.

4. The Joy in Accomplishments is so much Sweeter
Braeden didn't walk until he was 2 1/2 years old. The ecstatic joy that we all felt when he took those first steps was so much greater because of how hard he had to work to get there.

3. I've learned more about Myself
Now that's a biggie. I've learned how much stronger I am than I thought I was. I've learned how to let go of some of my competitiveness, and I've learned to let go of dreams in exchange for others.

2. I've learned what's Really Important
Judge me if you like, but my whole life has been about achievement and being the best. I've pushed myself to ridiculous lengths in my quest to be the best, and I've shed tears over failures. Braeden will not be the class valedictorian, and he won't be the keeper for the Varsity soccer team. I will not receive a star for being the best mother on the planet. But, at the end of the day, that doesn't matter; perhaps that is the greatest thing I've learned.

1. Nothing Compares to the Love from My Son
Braeden has some weird sixth sense of knowing when someone is having a bad day. He is the first to give you the most amazing hug when all you want to do is cry. When Alyssa is upset and crying, he is the first to go sit on her lap and hug her. When it's all going to Hell, that little boy can turn it all upside down.

The End of the Season

2009-10-25T12:00:00.000-04:00

Well, another soccer season has come and gone, and this one really was a fun one. Alyssa was lucky enough to play on a good team this season, and she had a terrific coach who focused on the fundamentals so she made some great strides in her passing game. Ironically, I had to encourage her to just take the ball to the goal and shoot because she was working so hard on passing to everyone else. Most of all, though, she really had a lot of fun. It's so easy as a parent to see potential in your child and then push them so hard that they don't enjoy it any more. I frequently have to remind myself to step back and just let her have fun and enjoy.

Unfortunately, their last game yesterday was a loss (only their 2nd this season), and after the game we had a sad and crying Alyssa. I wish I could blame that emotion on Mike, but anyone that knows me knows that trait comes right from me. (Losing has never been my strength). However, with some hugs and encouragement Alyssa was right back to herself.

She has been invited to play on an indoor team, so now we will transition from cold, windy days to the stinky, smelly gym. Bring it on!!!

H1N1 Woes

2009-10-24T20:32:00.002-04:00

For those of you in parts of the countries not yet affected by the infamous H1N1, count your blessings. We have been hit very hard here in the Midwest. While the flu is not all that particularly dangerous in the vast majority of cases, the bad press has caused shear panic in many folks. The Emergency Rooms have been inundated with complaints of fever, body aches, and cough. Wait times are through the roof and staff are run into the ground. As one of the many folks on the front line.... I am exhausted. Consequently, my blog and my brand new facebook (so much for honeymoon, addicted stage) have suffered.

But I am back. We have been affected in my house for the last 2 1/2 weeks. It started with Braeden, then Alyssa, and then Mike... wer're holding out hope that I can pull through this season. Was it H1N1? Probably, but as we don't test... I guess we don't know for sure. Mike is coming back slowly, but surely, and hopefully life will start to return to normal. I wish I could share all of my funny stories about the flu season, but, alas, privacy rules prevail and the world wide web will be deprived of all of my awesome stories. But, please, don't panic... many lost days of work and school... and some seriously cranky kids.... however, this too will pass.

Words of wisdom.... consider getting your flu shot. Oh... and invest in some good hand sanitizer. This is looking to be a long flu season.

Unsolicited Advice

2009-10-16T15:07:00.004-04:00

Those of you who are already parents know this, and those of you who are soon to be parents will know this very soon... everyone has an opinion on how you should raise your children. It's bad enough that your mother, mother-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, cousin, and best friend tell you the best things for your children. But when random strangers in the grocery store feel a compulsion to guide you in your child-rearing... that's just too much. "Your child is too old for a pacifier" "A pacifier might keep your child from crying" "You really should have a hat on your child" "I think your child is hungry" Yep, heard 'um all.

However, I am here to give a bit of unsolicited advice for all parents. Be sure to take time away together... without kids. It's amazing how life gets so tied up around children that sometimes you lose touch with that person that you married. When Mike and I got married we agreed that we would take one vacation a year with no children. Every year, without fail, we've done it. We've gone to Jamaica, the Bahamas, Paris, Wine Country (CA), Florence, and St. Thomas on these trips, and I can't think of a better way to keep your marriage alive. This year we scaled back a little and took a long weekend to Chicago. Despite the rain and cold, it was wonderful. It was so nice to be able to spend time together, talk about something other than kids, and relax. We also got to meet up with another Gladney family and had a great time getting to know them. It's good to know that we still enjoy being together!

Having fun at Fado's watching the US qualify for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa in their 3-2 win over Honduras. GO USA!!

5 Months

2009-10-13T14:10:00.000-04:00

5 Months already! or 5 Months and still waiting! I guess it's all a matter of perspective. Miraculously, it does feel like the time is flying and we are slowly but surely working our way there. Yeah, we probably have another few months, but at least things are moving! So, in these 5 months we've..... lost 2 teeth, gone on 2 vacations, watched countless games of soccer, read over 20 books, finished and started a new school year, outgrown a clothes size (the kids, not me... thank God), gotten rid of training wheels, made several new friends in the blogging world, won 2 battles with our local school district, celebrated 2 birthdays, and cleaned out the spare room in preparation for our new arrival. Whew! Now, you can see why the time flies.

We are coming right into our busiest season at work, and thanks to H1N1 it is starting early and looks to be one of the worst winters in years for us. I'm guessing I'm going to be so busy and stressed out from work that my time to worry about the wait is going to be kept under control. Who knew?

My book for this month was one that I picked up from the library on a whim. I was browsing through the shelves when I came across it. "Dust From Our Eyes" is a book about social justice, public policy, and history in Africa. Absolutely fascinating and eye opening is probably the best description of this book. I will acknowledge that this book is not for everyone. It could easily find itself in the required reading for a college course, so certainly not a light easy read. If you want something that will challenge how you view Africa, this will do it.

The author challenges the prevailing idea that we need to modernize Africa and try to "fix it". Instead she suggests that we recognize the inherent beauty of the continent and the spirit of its people. She criticizes the approach of the West that has decimated so many African countries and plundered its natural resources. She suggests that we provide the necessary support to nations throughout Africa, and she suggests that we start with debt forgiveness. This idea has been supported quite vocally by U2's Bono and his organization "One". This is certainly an idea that I can get behind.

Top Ten Tuesday

2009-10-06T14:15:00.000-04:00

Top 10 Things I've Learned from Having a Child with Down Syndrome

10. It takes true courage to learn to do what others say you will never be able to do.

9. We need to learn to focus on the "can do" not the "can't do"'.

8. Sometimes you have to fight for what your child needs.

7. A smile and a hug can make almost anything better.

6. We truly can handle more than we think we can.

5. As parents, we must allow our children to define for themselves who they will be and what they can do.

4. Success is so much sweeter when you have to work hard for it.

3. Sometimes, life isn't fair.

2. What may initially seem like something aweful may just turn out to be something wonderful.

1. Life isn't about winning or being the best.

As we celebrate National Down Syndrome Month, I celebrate the life and achievements of my son. Things certainly don't come easily for him, but with an incredible sense of determination we've seen him accomplish so much. Life with Down Syndrome is not always fun and easy, but it has added more to my life than I could ever have dreamed or imagined.

Taking the Plunge

2009-09-30T20:34:00.000-04:00

Well, I've done it... become an official Facebooker, that is. Despite the mega-hype of Facebook, I am still a blogger at heart. Perhaps it's because I have so much to say that I need endless paragraphs... who knows?

Seriously, though, they need some etiquette directions. Is it OK to post on everybody's walls, or are you really just supposed to send a message? When responding to someone, do you comment on their post or make it Wall to Wall? I'm afraid I'm committing all kids of Facebook mistakes here. For those of us who are a little less tech-savvy I think a tutorial might be in order.

With that said, those of you whose last names I know... prepare to be asked to be my friend. If you want to be my friend... let me know and I'll get you my info. Oh, what an exciting technologically challenging world this is.

Top Ten Tuesday

2009-09-29T07:31:00.000-04:00

As I've entered into this wild and crazy world of international adoption, I have learned so much. My knowledge of political and social issues throughout Africa has certainly increased dramatically, as has my passion for these issues. I feel like in the last 9 months (how long we've been immersed in this process) I have developed new perspective, new knowledge, and a whole new vocabulary. I use words comfortably that I didn't even know a year ago. Here is my Ethiopian adoption vocabulary primer.

Top 10 New Words in My Vocabulary

10. Blog

Short for weblog, it is my favorite way to keep up with my fellow adoptive families.
9. Injera

A highly versatile food, it is like a yummy sourdough pancake.

8. Extreme Poverty

True poverty, which has devastated both Africa and many other developing countries. This is something we all need to learn more about and discover what we can do to eradicate it.

7. Paperchase

The first part of the adoption process which involves a sometimes laborious process of collecting all vital data and documents needed for the adoption process.

6. Addis Ababa

The capital of Ethiopia, it is the location of the Gladney Foster Care Center as well as the U.S. Embassy.

5. Amharic

The primary language spoken in Ethiopia. While there are a variety of different dialects and tribal languages spoken in Ethiopia, this is the most common.

4. Homestudy

Despite my initial fears that it would be an evaluation of the cleanliness and state of my house, it is really the process of meeting with a social worker to assess the readiness to welcome in an adopted child into the family.

3. F.B.I.

The Forensic Blogging Initiative. It is the unofficial listing of the families in various stages of the adoption process with our agency. It is also my favorite place to stalk/hang out.

2. Dossier

The formal collection of all documents and homestudy that is sent to Ethiopia for review by the courts to determine the placement of a child into our family.

1. Referral
The day we all anxiously wait for, a referral is when you find out about the child who has been selected for you. This is the day that the phone rings, and you get to see the pictures of your child for the first time. I can't wait!

Buddy Walk 2009

2009-09-27T19:25:00.004-04:00

This weekend was Buddy Walk 2009. Buddy Walk is held in cities across the U.S. throughout the months of September and October. It is a walk to raise awareness and support for families and individuals with Down Syndrome. October is National Down Syndrome Awareness Month, so I will be taking a little extra time this month to talk and share about Down Syndrome.

This was our 5th Buddy Walk, and I want to thank our families who loyally came out in the rain to support Braeden. Fortunately, the rain held off for the walk itself, but it was definitely soggy. I think all the kids were mud-covered by the end of the day after playing around on the playground.

Man of the Day

Braeden and cousin Alexa

Sweet Cousins

Through the eyes of a child

2009-09-24T14:43:00.004-04:00

It's fascinating to see life through the eyes of a child. In Italy, we gave Alyssa a disposable camera to record her version of our trip. It is quite interesting what she took pictures of. She took some incredible pictures, too. Lately, she's been hijacking my camera to take some photos. Most of them are of herself, but every now and then we get something extra fun.

Special Friends

My brother and me

Traffic jam on the blanket
SCARY!

Top Ten Tuesday

2009-09-22T15:45:00.000-04:00

Tailgating is a favorite past time here in the Midwest. Maybe it's a Midwest thing. Do you tailgate in other parts of the country? Most people tailgate for football, but for my family it's mostly soccer, soccer, soccer (or football for our non-American friends). We were out the weekend before last and had a great time. We were lucky enough to have beautiful weather, and the game was a lot of fun! (minus the terribly annoying fan behind us). We will be out again this weekend, and we will have the fun of having my family joining us.

This week I give you the necessary ingredients for a successful tailgate. Now, I must confess... I don't have all of these yet, but I'm working on it.

Top 10 Items Necessary for Tailgating

Our little set-up. All set and ready for fun (yep, we're usually one of the first there).

10. A Vehicle

Well, that's a pretty easy one. It is called tailgating, after all.

9. TV
The really hard core tailgaters have these (I do not) so that you can watch all of the other games. In football, tickets can be hard to come by, so you can always watch the game outside too.

8. Shade
After getting a bit too toasty, we finally bought the tent. It makes those hot, summer afternoons bearable.

Without appropriate shade, family members must skin up.

7. Warming gear
We'll be needing this again pretty soon as those fall days roll around. Layers, layers, layers... and a little heater if you've got the money.

6. Games and fun stuff
Essential... we prefer our soccer ball, but we've brought out lacrosse sticks and cornhole on occasion as well.

5. Team paraphernalia
Dress to impress, you need your team gear. Jerseys, flags, face painting... it all adds to the fun.

Set and ready to go in his Crew attire.

4. Grill
After several trips with sandwiches and chips, we finally got the good grill so we can specialize in burgers and dogs. However, timing is crucial because you have to cool it in time to get it back in the car before the game.

3. Drinks
Our cooler is filled with Capri-Sun and specialty beers, but this is a flexible one. Soda and water are certainly acceptable (and much needed during those hot summer days.)

2. Food
From burgers and chips to pasta salad, you can make this what you want. However, unless you have a good table and chairs, I suggest keeping it simple.

1. Good tunes
The most important ingredient... depending on the game, you'll hear country, rock, or reggae. Mike brings his I-pod, so we get a great mix. We just have to be louder than those nearby.

Back in the Saddle Again

2009-09-16T21:30:00.000-04:00

Today was one of those fun days where I got to be a mom, just a mom, and not feel like I was pulled in a thousand directions. My plans for going to the gym and the grocery store were trumped by the sick dude, who fortunately was not sick today (no school because of the fever last night). Braeden's best time of day is morning, which we have forfeited to the school, so it was fun to hang out when he is at his best. Miracle of all miracles, he watched a Baby Einstein movie too (AKA: I got a shower in). Now I realize that might sound trivial. However, in 4 1/2 years, Braeden has never made it through an entire movie or TV show (we don't have couch potato problems with our kids). I had to take a picture to believe it was real.

Mid-afternoon the babysitter came and took Braeden, and I had Alyssa duty for the afternoon. She left school an hour early for her independent study. I can't say enough great things about her school, but on Wednesdays they offer extracurricular options for the kids (ie: golf, tennis, sewing, running, ice skating). This session Alyssa chose to do an independent study about Ethiopia. So we went to our local market for a snack and work time. She really seems to be enjoying it. However, I was also reminded why we don't homeschool. My daughter and I learn very differently. I much prefer the structure of a table or desk. As you can see, Alyssa does better in a more non-traditional style.

After independent study, I took Alyssa to her first formal horseback riding class. She first rode during an extra session in school last spring, and she has really taken to it nicely. She didn't stop smiling during the entire session.

Now, both kids are in bed, and I'm waiting for Mike to come home. After the rough day yesterday, I feel like things are getting back on track today.

Real Life

2009-09-15T21:10:00.003-04:00

Well, this will be a Top 10-less week. I had started my Top 10 this morning, but as the day has gone on, I just don't have it in me. Instead, I just need a brief moment to express my frustrations. So... if you've got a couple of extra minutes read on. If not, that's OK, there are likely no deep, brilliant insights here.

It is no secret that my son comes with a myriad of extra challenges. I certainly have days where I just feel frustrated and angry that we have to deal with all the extra stuff. But for the most part, I accept that this is the life that we have, and there's not a whole lot of a point in getting frustrated or angry. It is what it is.

However, this is not one of those days. Braeden is an awesome kid, but his speech lags significantly behind. I have focused the majority of my attention on developing Braeden's speech, and with the help of the world's most amazing speech therapist, we're getting there.... SLOWLY. But he still is unable to communicate much of what he thinks and feels. (Consider being stuck with the communication skills of the average 1-2 year old). When I got home I found a sick kid with a fever, and an unknown red, raised mark on his arm. The babysitter said he got off the bus crying, but I have no idea why. Where did this mark come from? A bee sting? A mosquito bite? An injury from someone at school or on the bus? No freaking idea! I have a crying child, and I have no idea what is wrong! At that moment I realized that someone can tease, hit, or otherwise injure my son, and he has no way to tell me this. How can you protect your child when you can't even find out what the hell is going on?

And so we're stuck. I'd like to put the little dude into bubble wrap and protect him from the mean, cruel world, but I really can't do that either, can I? And so I sit, tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, wondering why? when? and how? Questions without answers. Yes, this is life... real life... and it's not always pretty. Perhaps tomorrow will bring a little good, enough to balance the sadness of today.

4 Months

2009-09-13T21:12:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been 4 months, and we've survived the wait so far! I'm holding onto my optimism and hoping that we're around the half-way point in this wait. I think estimates are still in the 8-9 month range, so I'm hoping things will not slow up in the near future. I'm finally at the point where I'm starting to feel ready. Sure, I still have moments of feeling unprepared and inadequate, but I'm not sure that those feelings will ever go away completely before we're actually there.

I think the hardest part right now is all of our friends and co-workers who are having a hard time understanding the wait and the process. It's hard to explain why things take so long. Sometimes I feel like a broken record explaining that while there are many children who are in need of homes, the process is designed to protect the children and their families. I've mentally prepared myself to go into the first part of the year unless we are matched with a sibling group sooner (not a particularly common occurrence). Nothing to say I can't hold out for things to happen more quickly though.

So, as I have every month, I have some books to review. I actually have 2 this month because they were both fairly short and easily read. These are both by Tom Davis, someone most of you in the world of international adoption are at least familiar with. In fairness, these were a bit of a leap of faith, and I must say I'm glad I read them. They have both been loaned off to others already. I say a leap of faith because of the very obvious conservative and evangelical nature of the books and the author. While I am a deeply religious person, you won't see a lot about that written here. A story for a different post, you'll have to take my word for it.

The first book is "Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds". It begins with an apology to the world from the church for its failure to respond to the HIV crisis that has decimated large segments of humanity. Well, any book that starts like that, I have to read. Well, its goal is to make you want to get up and do something, and it does just that. This book will motivate and challenge you to get up off your rump and do something. I love it!

The second book is "Scared: A Novel on the Edge of the World". A work of fiction, this book makes the crisis in the country of Swaziland personal. It will break your heart and then give you a bit of hope that everything is not futile. Tom did a beautiful job of telling the story of a young girl in the midst of the HIV crisis and a middle aged news photographer seeing and experiencing it firsthand. This book should be in Swaziland right now with a co-worker of mine who spends several months a year providing medical care in a rural village. Now that, my friends, is a man living out his faith.

Thank you, Tom, for making me think and moving me to action.

Melkam Addis Amet!

2009-09-11T19:55:00.010-04:00

Melkam Addis Amet. Happy Ethiopian New Year! In a world that sometimes seems so far away, our second families celebrate Enkutatash today (well, I guess yesterday now).

This was the first Ethiopian holiday that we were able to celebrate as a family, and we did our best to celebrate in our own little way. Mike made Yemiser W'et and injera, and it was delicious. He's made this before, and it is relatively easy and quite good. I would have liked doro wat, but since we both didn't get home until 5:00, wat was not an option. We finally opened up one of our bottles of Oropas wine which we've been saving for a special occasion. This seemed like a good choice. For dinner prayer, I asked Alyssa to pray for her brother or sister (s) in Ethiopia. To paraphrase, "Please help our brother or sister to have fun, and even if they don't let them know we'll see them soon." Gulp! Gulp!

We hope and pray that this time next year we'll celebrate the holiday as a true Ethiopian-American family.

Top 10 Tuesday

2009-09-08T21:50:00.000-04:00

Perhaps some of you are a little like me. In high school, I was a good athlete and a good student, and I was generally well liked, but I was never part of the "in crowd". Well, technically, the "in boys" loved me because I would play basketball and volleyball with them, and I typed papers very well. But I never really entered that inner circle of girls. You know the ones... they set the fashion standard and determined who was and who was not. I didn't really date a whole lot, which gave me a fair amount of angst at that time. I was generally happy, but I certainly did have my melancholy moments.

Recently, I took care of a young girl who had tried to kill herself by taking a bottle and a half of tylenol. While she did not kill herself, she most likely pickled her liver and will probably have long term problems as a result of that. What drove this girl to such despair? Her boyfriend dumped her for another girl. All of this for a boy?! Oh did I just want to smack her upside the head. It's amazing the knowledge you gain in a matter of a few years.

Top 10 things I know now that I wish I'd known then.

10. It is much better to have your own personality and style than to be a drone who acts and looks just like everyone else.

9. High school isn't forever.

8. High school romances rarely last.

7. High school popularity does not mean adult popularity or success.

6. Everybody feels insecure. We all just show and express it in different ways.

5. It's easier to stay in shape than to get in shape.

4. Boys in college are way more fun than boys in high school.

3. The relationships you develop with your siblings will last longer than most of your high school friendships.

2. The world is much bigger than your school, city, or even state.

1. Character is far more important than looks, popularity, or success.

Just to prove that I have overcome my teenage trauma.... here I am in all of my lovely, geeky glory! (sorry, I couldn't manage to crop those very cool stone washed jeans in there.)

To FB or not to FB

2009-09-07T14:37:00.004-04:00

... that is the question. Facebook. I'm feeling the pressure. Everybody's doing it. I've been putting it off for months now. I'm just not sure if I have the time for it. As you all know, just keeping up with my blog seems to be a bit of a challenge some weeks. I thought I was one of the cool kids, having a blog and all, and now I find myself behind the times again.

My sister was up to visit this weekend and showed me around her facebook, and I am truly amazed at how many people were out there. I found people from high school that I haven't seen in almost 20 years. However, it can easily turn into a time sucking pit. Without even realizing it, I spent a half an hour finding friends of friends of friends. Do I really have time for this activity?

So, my friends of the blog world... I thoroughly enjoy my blog as well as reading everyone else's blogs. Can I commit to both of these technologically advanced activites (remember, I just learned to blog and text this year)? Is it everything everybody is talking about? With my predilection towards addiction, will I ever be able to leave my computer again? Help a girl out here, and give me some advice.

Top Ten Tuesday

2009-09-01T12:11:00.014-04:00

As I celebrated Alyssa's birthday this weekend, I was once again reminded of what a pleasure it is to be a mom. This year we did her birthday party at home. As any mom knows, this is a lot of work. For me, though, it was a blast.

If I look at life changing moments, the birth of my first is probably the biggest. Becoming a Mom changed my life more than anything. Every now and then I have moments when I realize that I'm really living the life I love. These don't happen at work (yeah, don't like work that much) or out with friends. These always happen at times when I am enjoying time with my family. Sometimes it's when we're grilling out and playing games together. Sometimes it's on a family vacation. These are the moments when I realize that being a Mom is what I'm meant to do.

I recently came across the blog of a family with 9 children... 3 by birth and 6 by adoption. I made Mike come right over and see it. When I told him that I thought that would be awesome, he paled a bit and said, "Hmm... that's nice." Who knows? Maybe I can convince him to do this again down the road. I know my mother in law would be thrilled!

A couple of weeks ago, I did a lighthearted Top Ten enjoying the funny side of being a Mom. This week, I celebrate the joy of being a mom.

Top Ten Best Things About Being a Mom

10. Skinned Knees
As silly as it is, kissing a boo-boo and hugging a crying child is such an honor. The ability to make tears go away by the simple power of a hug or kiss is amazing.

9. Learning More About Yourself
My children have taught me more about myself than I ever imagined. I've learned that my temper needs a little work, and I've learned that even though I feel woefully inadequate at times, those grown-up obsessions are silly through the eyes of a child who sees you as perfect.

8. Holding Hands
Whether it's an infant grasping your finger or my 7 year old holding my hand as we walk down the street, the power of human touch is amazing.

7. Watching Your Kids Grown Up
From little tiny blobs who do nothing but eat, cry, and poop, it is amazing to watch a child grow and develop and learn more than we can ever imagine.

6. Your Child's "Firsts"
The first word, the first step, the first day of school.... life is full of so many amazing firsts that we are privileged to share with our children.

5. Christmas Time
Without question, Christmas is my favorite holiday. No matter how you celebrate, watching your children celebrate this holiday is beautiful. Opening gifts, looking at Christmas lights, attending Christmas service... this is the ultimate family holiday.

4. Seeing The World Through A Child's Eyes
Vacations really bring this home to me. It is so much fun to go to Disney and watch the joy and excitement in their eyes and on their faces.

3. Snuggle Mornings
Most little children get up way too early. I love to have the kids crawl into bed with us and snuggle in together.

2. Snuggle Nights
One of the tough things about working rotating shifts is that my sleep schedule is never normal. What this allows me to do, though, is to let the kids snuggle in bed to sleep with me when I go to bed early. Of course, Mike has to then drag them all up to bed a couple hours later.

1. Unconditional Love
To be able to experience unconditional love is a hard to describe feeling. In this case, it is giving that unconditional love. As a mother, sometimes the kids drive you bonkers and the one needing a time out is you. But somehow, no matter how bad they are, you still (and always will, you know) love them.

Back to School

2009-08-31T09:25:00.004-04:00

Well, that's it. The little man has ridden away on the big, yellow bus. The end of August is here, so that means one thing for my kids... back to school! Alyssa started last Wednesday, and she has had a terrific start to the school year. Of the 15 kids in her class this year, 7 were in her class last year so she was already off to a good start. She says that 2nd grade is even better than first. She is in a mixed age classroom, so there are some 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th graders in her class. I signed up to be the classroom coordinator (room mother in my years, but I guess we are now more p.c.) for her class. What was I thinking!? It should be a good year.

The middle schoolers at Alyssa's school came in the week before class started and painted maps of the world in the parking lot. Alyssa was so proud and excited to stop by Ethiopia on her way into school.

Braeden started school today. After much fighting with our school district, we were able to get him into morning preschool and get busing for him. Long story short, budget cuts in our district left Braeden in a very bad position. Mike was able to negotiate with the school district, and after many letters and phone calls, Braeden is right where he needs to be. (Please note that Mike was the negotiator here. I am a bit too impassioned and emotional to get things done).

After the bus left this morning, Mike went for a run and I went inside.... QUIET!!! I forgot how nice quietness is. After seemingly constant chaos, a moment of quiet is beautiful. So what am I doing with my morning of quiet? Laundry and cleaning up. Then Mike and I are going to Starbuck's to enjoy some coffee and go through our schedule for the next week and discuss some upcoming projects. Ah... the joy of parenthood! What I'd really like is a nap! Se La Vie!

Braeden waiting in front of the house for the bus to get here!

Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl!

2009-08-28T10:33:00.006-04:00

Where has the time gone, oh my sweet girl?! Today we celebrate Alyssa's 7th birthday! I can't believe that it was this time 7 years ago that my life changed completely with the birth of my sweet little girl! As I looked back at pictures over the years, I am amazed at how she's grown up. It seems like just yesterday that I remember her crawling around our floor and wondering what her personality would be like.

As we celebrate today with a birthday dinner out and a friend having her first sleepover at our house, I realize that while she will always be my little girl, she is not so little anymore. Alyssa Marley, we are so proud of you! Happy 7th Birthday!

In just 7 years, we've gone from here.....

... To Here!